Where I Watched It: MAX

English Audio Description?: Yes

Lots of missed opportunities here. I really don’t know why Steven Soderbergh is back in the director’s chair, but there’s something very disconcerting about the once revered director saying No to the second film, but being hungry enough to do the third. This man directed sex, lies, and videotape, Out of Sight, Erin Brockovich, Traffic, and knew making George Clooney be Danny Ocean was a great idea.

The fact that he came back for what is essentially the Tokyo Drift of the franchise is disappointing. Last Dance revolves around the idea that Mike is such a profoundly well known stripper, that a wealthy divorcee (Salma Hayek, who seems lost) would track him down and pull him out of retirement. Magic Mike is now one of those franchises that embraces the fact that it is long in the tooth by simply saying “fuck it”, and just doing something nonsensical.

So despite being the most prolific stripper ever, Mike is working some regular job that makes it easy for him to follow Hayek to her West Wend theatre where she’s trying to launch a new show, but something is missing. She needs Mike to put some Magic in her show. yes, this is the plot. I wish I was screwing around, but I’m serious as when “family” sent Tyrese and Ludacris into low orbit in a car to save the world.

And I think, that’s where this franchise needs to go. We’ve already got Channing Tatum pond hopping to choreograph legit theatre, so why not take it the next level? In the fourth film, perhaps Mike, and some of the originals or literally anyone who has been in this series so far, could be recruited by the CIA who need them to train undercover agents to be strippers, but like in Armageddon, when you need the job done right, you send in mike and the gang. Then, right at the end of the fourth film, McConaghey has that little cameo. Perhaps he walks up next to Mike in a bathroom. Alright alright alright. Washes his hands. mike looks over, we see Dallas’s trademark smile, and we know a new franchise is born. Because why not?

There’s no real need or reason for there to be ANy sequels to Magic Mike, as the first film kinda closed all doors. But if we are going to continue to send Channing Tatum into improbable plots, we might as well go all in.

Joking aside, I’m not giving this film an F. Tatum is still charming. Hayek was fine. The rest of the cast didn’t offend me. I think the kind of people who would go to this are going because of hot guys, and well.. you know I’m blind, and aside from Tatum, most of this cast is new. Yes, they video chat with the bulk of the original cast, but, that’s not the same thing. So, I’ll just assume there was some sexy dancing by some hot guys, and that this movie gave women what they wanted.

Surprisingly, the audio description is decent. it’s hard to audio describe sexy, and really because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and our eyes…. Well…..

But, it does try. The audio description team really focuses in on the moments, especially those done by Tatum.

I wasn’t excited for a third film, but I don’t know that I was excited for the first either. Yet, the first ended up being better than i expected, while this makes me want to Venmo Soderbergh some cash.

Final Grade: C