Where I Watched It: MGM Plus

English Audio Description?: No

There’s something unintentionally ironic about not being able to see a movie called Unseen. I mean, technically, it is telling me right there in the title that it will not be seen. And it wasn’t. Though, I have a feeling this wasn’t an auditory experience for the theatre, but rather a film that thinks it’s clever. it’s not.

In this film we are shown our two protagonists. There’s quite literally no backstory. Unseen can’t be bothered. one of its strengths is the short runtime, but it almost challenges that criticism typically given by having one dimensional characters with no background, and then inane conversations at the worst times to try and flesh them out later.

One has been kidnapped by her ex, and he has her tied up somewhere. The other is a woman showing up to work at a gas station. Their lives converge when the trapped woman manages an escape, oh but darn, she’s blind without glasses, and after a ridiculous call to 911, she tries calling the last person to call her… some random woman at a gas station in Florida. These two do not know each other, but as you will find out later, the gas station person was trying to order a pizza, and apparently doesn’t have a concept of how to do that without randomly dialing, nor does she recognize her own area code.

Bound now by idiocy and an awful script, these two must FaceTime their way through madness and hopefully survive the inane plot.

This film has a lot of problems. A lot.

Every character introduced who isn’t one main girls is introduced in such a way you would assume their death is coming in a typical horror movie. Not just apathetic assholes, but so egregiously exaggerated to the point of absurdity. not only is the manager of the gas station an ass, but Missi Pyle has to play the most Karen-ish least likeable female character written for a film this year. entitlement doesn’t cover it. But, it would be too simple if the girl in the gas station didn’t also have a villain to fight.

Meanwhile, I’m introduced to a girl who is smart enough to be a doctor, but has zero plans for when she loses her glasses. There’s a line of dialogue where she defines her level of blindness as not being able to see her hand in front of my face. My level of blindness is almost total, and I have these weird pinholes not even located near my focal point. Yet, if I wave my hand, in just the right spot, i can see that it moved past my face. I still have to walk with a cane and use accessibility tools.

This is a debate I’ve had with others in the blind community, is how asinine is it that she’s totally unprepared? What is her plan when she loses her glasses? Because, everyone I know seems to misplace them at some point. Some people who are like that apparently also feel the need to not learn how to do any sort of accessible preparation just in case. I think that makes this female character, a doctor, an idiot. Medically, she’s more well informed than anyone, and she’s useless without her glasses. I’m not OK with that level of representation. Blind representation in films is already limited to everyone either being a jedi or trained assassin thanks to Donnie yen and Daredevil, and this would have been an excellent opportunity to have a realistic portrayal of someone with a visual impairment.

It might have even been an excellent time to pair with the app Be My eyes. Talk about exposure for the app, as sighted people learn they can volunteer, and anyone who is visually impaird and hasn’t heard about the app would get to hear about it. Basically, it would also solve the giant plot point of a woman in Florida trying to order a pizza from a woman in Michigan, even though we have plenty of food delivery apps… and google, to tell her how to do that. The reasoning is dumb, but if this girl had had be My Eyes on her phone, she could have opened that app, and it would have linked her with a volunteer anywhere. You still get your random connection, your victim seems a little smarter, and you have a more realistic portrayal of a visually impaired individual. What on earth is not to like about that?

But this is the kind of film that later has the blind girl try to convince the girl on FaceTime to help her drive a car, so it’s one of those films. It also has that moment in the horror movie where the killer is out, and they don’t finish him. Instead, they think… this gives me more time to run. Or, just slit his throat, and sit in the car and wait for 911 to show up?

Normally, a film like this would get Unwatchable because it lacks audio description, which also pisses me off. Of course, I’m trying (to no avail) to convince MGM Plus to incorporate audio description. I’ve heard this film has a track that was made for it. hosting a film with a legally blind lead character and not having accessibility sends the message that you are interested in using my blindness for your entertainment, but have no interest in assisting me with accessibility so that I might have a more equitable chance of watching this film with the sighted audiences who are enjoying this blind girl running around. I’m sure sighted people think she’s awesome.

I don’t. I haven’t failed many movies since watching Marmaduke last year, because I have always asked myself “is this as bad as Marmaduke”? Here, not only is the writing poor, the acting way over done, but it actually offends me. Not through sex, violence, or political content, but the depiction of someone smart enough to earn a medical degree but is not prepared to be without her glasses, and a threadbare explanation of why this random girl get the call.

Unseen should be just that. unseen.

Final Grade: F