Where I Watched It: Peacock

English Audio Description Provided By The Media Access Group

Narrated By Leilani Jones Wilmore

Wahoo! For all of us gamers who can claim to be among the first, fan service is headed our direction. Sure, there have been video game adaptations, but they typically suck. And for a lot of people who have wanted some of these legacy franchises like The Legend Of Zelda adapted somewhere. Now with the critical success of The Last Of Us on television, it could be even on TV. But, Illumination took the horns of Bowser and rode Nintendo’s flagship franchise back onto the big screen. Was it worth the wait?

Honestly, I don’t hate the Super Mario Bros movie from the 90’s. I’m not saying it’s good, but it follows along with a lot of the cheesy fare we got in that time period. As an adaptation, it’s so bizarre because they felt the need to rip the franchise into live action. Thankfully, Illumination does nothing but animation. The problem is, they also really are starting to have a vibe.

I loved the fan service, from the little references, to just how characters played out. The overdone Italian attempted accent was used to effect, but not the whole film. The characters popping up from all the various games was nice. I’m a lover of Toad, so I enjoyed Keegan michael Key’s performance. On paper, this movie looks like it works just fine.

Something is missing. I wasn’t overjoyed. And it’s not the lack of being able to see Illumination’s modified version of these graphics. It felt like someone went back through the Mario franchise and found all the things they thought fans would want, but it was written and adapted by people checking off boxes, and not by a fan, or really by anyone who had a revolutionary idea about the series. I know some comic book films have hired writers unfamiliar with the character, and I think it rings true in the end. The fact that Brett Ratner knew nothing before agreeing to directing X-Men: The Last Stand is likely why that film sucks.

So, this is a hodgepodge of ideas that work thrown together in the biggest fan service illumination can give us, but it doesn’t have the soul. Mario doesn’t feel like the hero. He doesn’t feel like he triumphed the way he does when we use him to beat a game. Even though the movie feels like we are moving from level to level, by the end, I’m not sure we really built to anything, or that there were any stakes.

And, no, I don’t think this is a princess Peach problem either. Some men are threatened with the trend of strong female leads. This is not that. If we had written her as a damsel in distress, then sure, I would have wanted to see more of that. but she’s not used as that, but instead as more of a wise sage that has to teach Mario to be Mario.

And perhaps that’s where the film fails for me. The idea that when we are in a game, we of course make a mistake a die is real, but Mario is quite a dumbass when he enters the Mushroom Kingdom and needs far more work. I almost would have preferred a quicker way to get him from zero to hero, instead of the rocky journey to save Luigi.

The voice acting was solid mostly across the board. The only one I had a problem with was Chris Pratt, an actor I actually enjoy. It’s not that he’s incapable of doing this film, it’s that his voice sounds like mark Wahlberg. I don’t know why he felt the need to do a voice, when jack Black, Seth Rogen, Charlie Day, and Anya Taylor joy all sound exactly the same. Why was Chris pratt given direction to try and raise the pitch of his voice? He ends up often sounding like Wahlberg. If that’s what you want, just hire Mark Wahlberg. Pratt is a capable actor on his own, and would have been fine in his own voice, but the choices made here are kinda baffling. it also fades in and out, like he’s not good at holding his voice up high all the time, so there were moments I heard Pratt, but then he’d slip back into his weird voice.

There’s been a lot of praise for Black, and he’s good. The Peach song is fine, though i wouldn’t nominate it for an Oscar.

The audio description did a good job of trying to really give us all these different worlds. not just the one where Mario and Luigi start, but all the various kingdoms. Leilani was a good choice of a narrator. Even though Peacock has this labeled for kids, a franchise this old has a ton of adult fans, and Leilani hits a nice tone in her voice without being a narrator that panders to kids. I’m sure in theatres, there were plenty of people of all ages there without any children at all. That’s what happens with these legacy franchises.

I don’t know if the right decision here is to go straight to a Mario sequel or a Donkey Kong Country movie, but i hope whatever they do, they find people to make it that are really truly passionate about the idea, and less about Easter eggs. I’m a fan, and i appreciate fan service, but the film does need to come together at some point as something more than just “we showed you everything you wanted, right?” Well, sort of. i do like a good story too.

Final Grade: B