English Audio Description?: yes

Where I Watched It?: Peacock

Size. Relativity. I know that people who work in audio description read these fancy schmanzy reviews of mine, and my official review is “size relativity”. On the poster for this film, beneath someone giving this four stars or two thumbs up is just a quote that says “Size relativity!”- john Stark, MacTheMovieguy.com.

What do I mean by this, in case you haven’t tuned in before? Why haven’t I mentioned a single thing about this Dreamworks film yet? Well, when we listen to audio description, often we are watching films with people, places, and things that have a basis in reality. Even if the height differential between characters isn’t mentioned in a film, it rarely affects a movie, unless you are Twins, and the height differential is Arnold Schwarzenegger versus Danny Devito.

When we get into science fiction and fantasy, we often deal with people, places, and things that have no basis in reality, and therefore there isn’t anything for us to immediately compare things to. in this case, the titular hero, *spoiler* is a kraken. i know, that’s the most shocking turn of events all year long that you did not see coming. but, I’m here to break the news. Ruby Gilman… is a Kraken. Of course, this movie takes a bit more of the Turning Red approach, where Ruby is not informed of all of the backstory of her families history with water, and she changes when wet. like a gremlin. I do believe it has to be sea water and not tap water. otherwise, the water fountain at school would have been literal hell for her by now.

but, when she does turn, or when any other character in this film appears as a kraken (or other creature), it’s always unclear just how big they are. My last visual of a Kraken in film, i believe, was a Pirates of The Caribbean film, and I have a hard time putting that kraken hiding behind a suburban house.

I have seen and stood up for some Dreamworks films that I felt were misunderstood and more critically reviled than they should have been, or underperformed at the box office. Rise of The Guardians has become a staple for me at Christmas, I loved the message behind Mr Peabody and Sherman, and i enjoyed Puss in Boots just as he was in the first film, and didn’t need to jump aboard the train when the sequel finally came out some years later. but, Ruby Gilman doesn’t really do anything new.

It’s relatively the same story, where a teenager has their past held from them by their parent thinking it is in their best interest, but eventually they figure it out, and it complicates the relationship in different ways. For example, this is how Percy Jackson gets started. Surprise! Your dad is a God, which makes you a Demi-god. I already mentioned Turning Red, but these are hardly the only ones. The voice cast here is really solid. I love Lana condor, and I wish she could find more projects that require her face so her star can continue to rise. Also, Toni Collette is a treasure with not enough Oscar nominations to her name. I still think she should have been nominated for her complex role in About A Boy. Add to that Jane Fonda, and there’s more than enough star power in this daughter/mother/grandmother trio that should make this work.

but, sadly, the film wants a twist too bad. There’s a scene with a villain reveal, but at least in the audio description, before the reveal, the soon to be villain looks conflicted about whether or not to reveal their dark nature. they do, and when they do it’s all about “this was my plan all along”, even though it seems like an animator thought they might be going the conflicted villain way, where someone might change their mind because Ruby has been unexpectedly nice.

I will give it the slight benefit of the doubt, since it is a kids film, and it is entirely possible that kids love this. I know there are many films I enjoyed as a kid that I can’t watch now, but there are films i still love today. I learned that my taste was much more forgiving back then. And your kids might feel the same way. or, maybe they’ll be motivated to watch one of the many stories that follows this same formula instead.

It’s not something that plays to the smallest child in the room, and parents can definitely sit through this. It is oddly aimed at everyone, as moms and daughters will get that Ruby is a female lead, and the dynamic with her mother drives a lot of the film, while boys will like the kraken aspect, and the promise of adventure and things being destroyed.

So, I’ll let you decide if it is right for you. It’s not bad enough to tell you to stay away, but it’s also not obviously good enough for me to recommend.

Final Grade: C