Another Oscar nominee I’ve never had the pleasure. It’s a shame too, because the cast is really a strong cast for the time period, and with a special Oscar for visual effects (before there was a full category), I kinda want to know how good this really looks. But, alas. This is on Starz, which of course means it doesn’t have audio description, because searching for audio description or someone who cares about it at Starz is like trying to find El Dorado or Atlantis. A futile and stupid gesture that I keep doing anyway.

But, I have seen, and really enjoyed more than perhaps anyone else, Poseidon. So, i used my knowledge of the remake, having seen that a few times to try and propel myself through this film. The cast is broad, with performances from classic actors Gene Hackman, Shelley Winters (in her Oscar nominated role), Red Buttons, Roddy Macdowell, and others. And it appears to not shy away from death either, much like the remake. Both films structure like a horror movie, where you have a large starting cast that gets picked off one by one. The characters and their jobs and relationships are different from the original to the remake, and I’m deeply intrigued that they made a sequel. how? Why?

But, even armed with having seen the remake, I still need audio description on this one. And there’s reason to do it, as I believe we still need to represent film across the generations, and often films that did well at the box office, or are awards winners are solid places to start when adding audio description. Even the fact that it was good enough to remake signals to me that this film should have audio description.

But again, it’s Starz. I wanted to try and spread my Oscar shame across as many of the streamers as possible, which meant I was always going to pick one of their films, and talk about how, still, Starz doesn’t have audio description. it does, however, have the audacity to have a DEI department, which I have tried to reach out to to discuss audio description, and how their lacking in that inherently makes them non-inclusive, but that’s a conversation a bunch of presumably sighted people don’t want to be having. Often people who lead diversity, equity, and inclusivity movements don’t really want to do the broad spectrum work, and it’s easier to just “make strides”, by either providing on or off screen more “visible” diversity, believing that somehow because you have more gender balance and persons of color present that you have achieved. There’s much more to that than most care to admit, from making sure that people with visible and non-visible disabilities are given the visibility and accessibility they require, to even the content all these various people are portraying. Is it just a bunch of tropes, or is there a meaningful variety of representation? Just continuously spinning shows off of Power may not be the diversity you think it is.

But, I have some idea of what the Poseidon Adventure is and the differences between the original and the remake. It’s a film that won an Oscar for visual effects, so obviously, as a blind film critic talking about a film of this magnitude without audio description, you know where the grade is headed.

But it must be said, this film has been around for many years more than I have, and lots of critics have had the chance to sound off on this. this grade directly reflects how I, a blind film critic, have access to films.

Final Grade: unwatchable