Yes, technically the title is bleeped, but what do you think the word could be? Four letters, begins with F? Ford? Flop? Foot? From? Only one actually makes sense if you’ve ever had the pleasure (or displeasure) of being stuck in the game of Fuck, Marry, kill. The game usually is three names, and you have to fuck one, marry another, and kill the remainder. It is kind of a very violent twist, as it isn’t just like the one you don’t pick gets to go play some pickleball or whatever else losers do, it is a commitment to murder someone. It is a bizarrely popular game. when I was a kid, we just folded a piece of paper into this odd diamond shape, and it knew everything about the life you would be leading. Magical mystical notebook paper.

So the plot of Fuck Marry Kill, directly addresses the fact that there is a serial killer using a dating app, yet our protagonist (Lucy Hale) is going to use it anyway. She’s committed to not living her life in single squalor, and it is time to take the train to bone town. We see her make a romantic connection with three different men, and she quickly (thanks to podcasters) believes one of the three men she’s been in touch with is a serial killer. Is it her old classmate that is now a veterinarian and clearly in need of some serious social help? If ever a movie character could use a lesson in life improvement from the men of Queer Eye, it’s this guy. Then, she has this swarthy and masculine manly man, but is he too manly? Is he a little too creepy? And, what about the tech she hit it off with who was installing some security cameras for her? Seems highly suspicious.

While this movie absolutely can and will frustrate you, it’s nice to see Lucy Hale growing up into a hard R rated film like this, and show the kind of presence needed to carry a film. I also love, and thank God we have audio description, the choice to keep labeling which of the three men is at which point. Who is getting the fuck, marry, or kill? Really, the latter is the most important since it is her opinion in that moment of who the killer is, but she’s kind of obsessive enough that it rotates frequently.

It feels like the kind of movie that could have ended with the killer being in no way close to her inner circle, and perhaps that would have been funnier and pushed on the idea of podcasting true crimes and obsessing of podcasts. but, someone in the film is the killer.

Sadly, it is not her token gay friend, who is barely in the film, only to offer an occasional sassy comment. she does have another best friend/sister who does go down the rabbit hole with her, but this is still Lucy Hale’s movie.It has some really clever audio description that finds the best parts to accentuate, as well as the important things if you’re trying to actually solve the crime.

As a film, it lacks the luster of a film that will be remembered for more than one viewing, but it certainly is not a bad time. So, it is essentially a one nighter type of film, so don’t make me say what choice it would be if this was a choice in the title game. it isn’t marriage material, nor do i want to see it die. it was good this one time. I’d be open to a second go around, but i also don’t need it.

Fresh: Final Grade: 7.3/10 Audio Description: A-