Cast: Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Mika Monroe, Raul Castillo, Marin Starr, Nora Contreras

Written By: Micah Bloomberg

Directed By: Michelle Garza Cervera

release Year:

Studio/Streamer: Hulu

Runtime: 102 minutes

Audio Description produced By:

Written By:

Narrated By:

What is it?: In their infinite wisdom, following the massive success of remakes like White Men Can’t Jump, house Party, Point Break, Robocop, Total recall, Don’t Tell mom The Babysitter’s Dead, The Witches, and other massive success stories, Hulu has updated the saucy thriller that has a babysitter with sinister intentions rocking a cradle… again.

What Doesn’t Work: I do like to see what other critics say about a film. It helps me especially with regard to the audio description on some films, making sure all the dots were connected appropriately, and I didn’t miss anything. One of the first reviews I checked out after I had already seen this was from a critic I typically agree with, and they liked this movie. I was baffled. Shocked. I was ready to see him read the film for total filth, and yet, not this one? To be fair, it does sit in a very mid-range of scores, with a 50 something on Metacritic, a score in the 5 range on IMDb, and and it actually is slightly fresh right now at 62%. I might be changing that.

I thought this was abysmal. Aside from some rather strong performances from Winstead and Monroe, there’s nothing to see here. The remake updates itself mostly by adding a larger queer sensibility into the film, with bisexual characters, and a coming out sequence unique to 2025. It was leaning so much in one direction, I truly thought the twist might be, for once, that the babysitter doesn’t want to push out the mom, but rather the father. At least that would have given this a reason to exist, as a fresh take on an often told story. How many times have we seen this? How many times has the babysitter injected themselves into a family, only to decide they need ton stay? I can still remember just a year ago when Megan Fox played an android trying to do this very thing.

Perhaps back in 1992 this was unique, and babysitters hadn’t destroyed hundreds of families in Lifetime movies. But give it 30+ years, and a remake of The Hand That Rocks the Cradle needed to find a way to be different. It tries to play with Winstead’s sanity, establishing she’s had problems in the past. it tries roping in a backstory giving Monroe a reason to be there.

But in and around this is a clunky script spoon feeding you along the way. For example, they do the “speeding car nearly hits someone” thing early on. Instead of letting it just be a thing, you see cars whipping around throughout the film, and it is obvious it will come back into play. I spent the film waiting for it. Then, we have unresolved choices, like why Winstead is so obsessed with her kids not getting sugar, but then she has a bag of candy in her car for herself. She doesn’t seem to be a complete control freak about every aspect of what their kids eat, but she draws an occasional hard line.

It is one of those films where people live in opulence, but without a clear definition of how. Is she a lawyer, or does she just volunteer for a non-profit? How do they afford everything, including a gated home, which has a guest house. And if Monroe is planning on replacing Winstead, shouldn’t she at least have some scene with Castillo that raises the temperature a bit? Meanwhile, an interaction with Monroe and Starr was so oddly scribed I actualy laughed when i wasn’t supposed to.

I can appreciate the actors here came to play, and showed up, but this is nothing more than just another trashy Lifetime film masquerading as an update to a superior original, which honestly was never a truly great film to begin with.

The Audio Description: It’s fine, but mostly it ends up pointing out these cheesy moments. it isn’t the fault of the description, but the scenes are just so poorly written that describing things as they are just feels unintentionally hilarious.

Why you Might Like It: you just heard trashy Lifetime movie and got really excited.

Why you Might Not Like it: You are a big fan of the original, and believe no one can top Rebecca DuMornay.

Final Thoughts: Another unsuccessful remake, which seems to not recognize that in the time that has passed, the invasive babysitter genre has been done to death.

Rotten: 3.8/10