Cobweb
Where I Watched it: Hulu English Audio Description?: No I was really looking forward to this, as the other critics I admire who saw this theatrically in July were mostly positive. Sadly, Cobweb was relegated to Hulu, where the great minds decided not to pursue acquiring an audio description track. So, sadly, this is from the perspective of a blind critic forced to watch this without accessibility, which is another reason studios should add me to their screener mailing list. How can I praise a horror movie if I don’t know what’s horrifying about it? My instinct would be to … Continue reading Cobweb
The Mill
Where I Watched it: Hulu English Audio Description?: Yes The Mill is one of those films you really should go into with as little actual knowledge of the film as possible. So, carefully sidestepping through this, I’ll offer you some reasons to check this out. The first has to be Lil Rel Howrey, who has spent the majority of his career pumping up comedic performances, but here is expected to play a relatable Everyman in what could be described as a pressure cooker thriller. There is no backstory given in The Mill, but you just are told what the script … Continue reading The Mill
The Too Much TV Roundup- 11/24/23
What did you do for Black Friday? Did you buy some awesome gadgets? Any physical media? Did you finally splurge on that air fryer even though you don’t cook but you hope by owning an air fryer you will be more inclined to cook? 1) Neon (Netflix) English Audio Description?: Yes Status: Not Yet Renewed It’s charming me more and more with each episode. The gang gets an offer to shoot a music video, while their would-be agent gets shot down at work even though clearly she saved the day, and our budding musician has a nepotistic interview for a … Continue reading The Too Much TV Roundup- 11/24/23
The Blackening
Where I Watched It: Stars English Audio Description?: No I would use the term horror comedy when describing this, but I don’t want people to think Scary Movie, and adjust their expectations. The thing about The Blackening is that because of the title, it could very well seem like a full on spoof of the genre, rather than just a smart horror film that manages to navigate the tropes of a horror slasher with some biting satirical comedy. And, no, you don’t have to be black to enjoy this. Much like every horror film ever, our lead cast find themselves … Continue reading The Blackening
The Too Much TV Roundup- 11/23/23
I didn’t watch the parade. I broke the Thanksgiving rule. I just wasn’t in the mood. However, I did vegetate a lot in front of the TV. Took a nap. The usual. 1) Everything now (Netflix) English Audio Description?: Yes Status: Not Yet Renewed Nothing says Thanksgiving quite like watching a show about a girl with an eating disorder. But, in the third episode, our lead Mia spends most of the episode in her feelings for this girl she likes, only for the episode to once again not turn out the way she expected. It’s so weird to see her … Continue reading The Too Much TV Roundup- 11/23/23
The Nun 2
Where I Watched It: MAX English Audio Description provided By: Deluxe Narrated By: William Michael Redman Welcome to the sequel to the prequel which is a spinoff of a character featured in the sequel to The Conjuring. And they say Hollywood has run out of ideas. Pish posh. After the riveting terror of the first Nun film, I can understand why we are continuing with Taissa Farmiga, despite that Demian Bichir really did tremendous work in the first film. She’s likely asking for less money. And, with the money that they saved, they can offer a spot to Storm Reid, … Continue reading The Nun 2
The Conference
Where I Watched It: Netflix English Audio Description?: No Just a friendly reminder that Netflix loves to boost their content profile by advertising shows and movies originally shot for use in other countries, and release them in America without English Audio Description. Even Squid Game, which became Netflix’s most watched International title didn’t launch with audio description, just an English dub track. Not the same thing. The week The Conference came out, Netflix had this constantly in my face. So, I figured if it was worth that much hype… then I realized there’s no audio description. Basically, it’s a horror … Continue reading The Conference
Five Nights At Freddy’s
Where I watched It: Peacock English Audio Description?: Yes From the perspective of someone who did not play the video games, I always assumed they were jump scare based games. You would have no idea of that after watching this movie. There are a few attempts, but they are all fake out jump scares, which often makes it even worse. Not to mention, the PG-13 rating leads to a lot of off-screen deaths. This made a ton of money at the box office, and I’m sure a sequel is on the way, but this first film didn’t build up enough … Continue reading Five Nights At Freddy’s
The Too Much TV Roundup- 11/22/23
Well, looks like Jenna Ortega is unable to film Scream 7 due to Wednesday, so the world just became a lot less interested in a 7th entry… unless they pay up to reunite Nevé Campbell with her franchise. Maybe even Patrick Dempsey? Just a thought. Also, a Happy Thanksgiving to yours today. Enjoy all the food. However you eat, may it be plentiful and delicious. 1) The Witcher (Netflix) English Audio Description?: Yes Status: Renewed It’s hard to tell exactly what the plans are for the next season without Henry Cavill, but they seem to be turning Siri into her … Continue reading The Too Much TV Roundup- 11/22/23
Guy Ritchie’s The covenant
Where I Watched It: Amazon English Audio Description Provided By: Deluxe Narrated By: Jedidiah Barton, Jillian Smith, and Laura Post When this first came out, i assumed it was more of Guy Ritchie’s crap. If we are being honest, he’s been stuck for a while now, and while I used to get excited by seeing his name on a film, he’s started to lose me. I think The Covenant is one of the best things he’s ever directed. Certainly, it stands out in my mind as being one of the best films of the year, and I don’t care who … Continue reading Guy Ritchie’s The covenant
Devil
Where I Watched It: Amazon English Audio Description?: Yes The M. Night Shyamalan movie that technically is not his film, but feels unofficially his due to his oversight. Sort of like all the people I run into that think Jordan Peele directed that last Candyman film. I’m always like “You think the guy who made Get out, us, and Nope directed that?” Devil is a hot mess of circumstance, where it gives you the information it wants to give you so you will think it has expertly crafted this twisty masterpiece, but really it is a bunch of bullshit. It’s … Continue reading Devil
Jules
Where I Watched It: iTunes English Audio Description?: Yes Ben Kingsley top lines this movie destined for the AARP Awards this year. When a curmudgeonly man (Kingsley), with a set routine, and a concerned daughter, finds a spaceship crash landed in his backyard, he does the only thing logical. He befriends the little tyke, and lets him into his house. Even though there are no communication pathways, these two seem to find ways of understanding each other. The alien, who becomes known as… well I’ll let you guess… enjoys apples and just often sitting and staring at his surroundings. Things … Continue reading Jules
The Too Much TV Roundup- 11/21/23
Well, I said, and I’ll say it again, the post-strike cancellation wave is still bashing us. It likely will take a break for Turkey Day, but not before Disney Plus could axe The Muppets Mayhem. In fact, on the film side, rumor has it that they are trying to sell off The Bike Riders. Not sure why, as that played fairly well at the festivals, but whatever. in other cancellation news, Melissa Barrera was fired from the new Scream 7 for having the audacity to tweet. No apologies required, the Scream franchise has so many surviving characters alive right now, … Continue reading The Too Much TV Roundup- 11/21/23
The Too Much TV Roundup- 11/20/23
Remember how I said the strike would be leading to more and more announcements of cancellations? NBC has now confirmed that the shortened third season of Labrea is officially its last, something most people assumed. You don’t just cut an episode count that dramatically and keep it running for years after. Speaking of running for years, this upcoming season of Blue Bloods will be its last as well, but the show will split and finish its 14th season in the fall. 1) Wrestlers (Netflix) English Audio Description?: Yes Status: Limited This docuseries has proven far more interesting than I initially … Continue reading The Too Much TV Roundup- 11/20/23
The Too Much TV Roundup- 11/19/23
Yesterday, we lost a former First Lady with Roslyn Carter, who made it to 96. We also lost an actor I had forgotten could still be alive, Joss Ackland, who made for a mean villain in in the Lethal Weapon franchise, but also appeared in 90’s Disney films including A Kid In King Arthur’s Court and the Mighty Ducks films. He looked so old even then, that I never would have imagined he made it to 2023. RIP to both. 1) Get Gotti (Netflix) English Audio Description?: Yes Status: Limited A docuseries chronicling how they finally nailed mafia boss John … Continue reading The Too Much TV Roundup- 11/19/23
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