Mother Of The Bride

This year for Mother’s Day, Netflix paired up with Suddenly Susan star Brooke Shields (remember that show?) for a fluffy nonsensical destination wedding movie. To help round out the algorithm, I mean “cast”, Benjamin Bratt, Miranda Cosgrove, Chad Michael Murray, Rachael Harris, and Wilson Cruz are all along for the ride. This Netflix film, inevitably conceived through the algorithm,, written by AI, and directed by… Mark Waters? What? Wait, what? This thing is from the director of Mean Girls? Dammit. So now, we all have to take this film a bit more seriously, because instead of hiring that one person … Continue reading Mother Of The Bride

Late Night With The Devil

One of the buzziest horror titles of the year, the indie Late night With The Devil does a lot with very little.A lot of this has to do with casting David Dastmalchian in the lead role of Jack. Dastmalchian has spent years popping up in character actor roles, even really bit parts, but with such a recognizable face. he’s developed a recognition for his work, even if the work is small, or brief, and known for having range. Never has he really been asked to play this type of role, or be the lead actor of the film. Absolutely the … Continue reading Late Night With The Devil

The American Society Of Magical Negroes

What you were probably looking for was yet another white guy talking about this film. I’m sure the proliferation of thoughts by people who look like me is high. But, I’m here, because I’m a blind film critic, and this film has an audio description track.So, right out of the gate, I want to add that the audio description for this film is fine. I’ve certainly heard more detailed audio description tracks for films with predominantly black casts before, so this is swimming upstream. In fact, it seems like black films and black TV shows almost have a different set … Continue reading The American Society Of Magical Negroes

Dune: Part II

in preparation for this masterpiece of a film, I felt compelled to warm up my Dune knowledge by rewatching the first film. I have to say,as someone with no prior knowledge of anything Due before watching the first Denis Villeneuve entry, I wasn’t jumping all over it like a lot of people. I think about the aspect of my blindness, and how that affects my watching and enjoyment,and there is a possibility that the spectacle just doesn’t translate, and I’m left with a script that is difficult to follow. I’m careful not to complain too much, because I hate data … Continue reading Dune: Part II

Unfrosted

Some years ago, admittedly a little hard to remember since I’m not sure the film ever got a real theatrical release, a film called Food Fight existed, and used a lot of these mascot type characters. I’ve seen a lot of negative reviews of Unfrosted, and my sentence as a film judge is that all critics who thought this was bad need to also see Food Fight, because this kinda thing can be a lot worse. When i saw it, it was just freely on YouTube because no one cared about Food Fight. Unfrosted is Jerry Seinfeld’s love letter to … Continue reading Unfrosted

Woody Woodpecker and Woody Woodpecker Goes to Camp

I used to, like a lot of people, enjoy the wacky nonsensical humor of Woody Woodpecker, a bird that didn’t talk much but had an instantly recognizable laugh. Someone got the right to him, and has no idea what to do with him, so we get the most random and generic storylines. Neither of these films connect, so you don’t need to see one to see the other. The first Woody Woodpecker, which skipped a noticeable theatrical domestic run, lacks anyone you’ve ever heard of in the cast, which is shocking considering Justin Timberlake was in yogi Bear, and basically … Continue reading Woody Woodpecker and Woody Woodpecker Goes to Camp

Prom Dates

For the last couple of years, there has been a change in comedy, and it has left a lot of people wondering what is funny, what can be funny, and people like Jerry Seinfeld looking for answers. the truth is, comedy is doing just fine for those who know how to do it. Much like everything else, it’s always straight white men who are grappling with how to make comedies that appeal to straight white men, without being cancelled or attacked on social media for being offensive. Most of the raunchy R rated comedies you probably like have something we … Continue reading Prom Dates

The Idea Of you

Hollywood has long made movies about older women and younger men. There are likely a dozen examples that predate the famous Mrs. Robinson, but since she had an affair with a young Dustin Hoffman in the Graduate, this odd little genre has made film after film where an older woman is charmed by a younger man. And, The Idea Of You is that film. Again. Adapted from a novel, and now with enough fans to be asking for a sequel, the idea Of You felt like a retread, until it had the balls to do something the other films didn’t … Continue reading The Idea Of you

Turtles All The Way Down

The further we go through John green’s catalogue of novels into film adaptations, I’m realizing this guy wrote one really great book, and some just OK books that keep getting adapted anyway. Probably the second best adaptation I’ve seen of his work was looking For Alaska, which had the benefit of being a limited series and expanding upon the material and really getting everything in there. Turtles All The Way Down is emotionally manipulative, with a few strong performances, and also has parts that just don’t work. the meat of the story revolves around a teenager (Isabela Merced) who is … Continue reading Turtles All The Way Down

Kingdom Of The Planet Of The Apes

I definitely felt the trepidation about returning to this franchise, especially after the strength of the Caesar trilogy. Matt Reeves was passing the buck to Wes Ball, who made one good Maze Runner film, and some mediocre sequels, so I wasn’t sure what to think. Honestly, this film isn’t even running on star power here. The biggest featured actor not doing motion capture work is Frea Allen, and Owen Teague is taking the very tall order left behind by Andy Serkis as the main motion capture actor. Caesar is gone, 300 years have passed, and our Apes are in a … Continue reading Kingdom Of The Planet Of The Apes

Rise, Dawn, and War For The Planet Of The Apes

In preparation for Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes, I rewatched one of my favorite trilogies of all time. I’m elated that all three films have available audio description… somewhere. For me, I bought the trilogy in the Apple Store, to make sure I have all three. I have VlueRays of all three as well. I’ve seen Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes probably 4 times prior to this, Dawn probably twice, and admittedly I think I had only seen War once. Rise of the Planet Of The Apes has audio description provided by Deluxe, written and narrated … Continue reading Rise, Dawn, and War For The Planet Of The Apes

Snack Shack

I am someone who admittedly has a lot of really dumb films in my “desert island” list, or the favorite/comfort films list. I enjoy many teen movies from my day, from bigger hits like She’s All That and Varsity Blues, to even some lesser hits, like Get Over It. but, as I age, I should be aging past teen films, and yet, here comes Snack shack, which surprisingly is really good. the first indication that this is something special is that it is an independent feature that got a theatrical release, instead of being banished to streaming. That means we … Continue reading Snack Shack

Ordinary Angels

When this film first dropped, it seemed like it was just another faith based film. Those always depend on the budget, and often can vary widely in quality. Last year I saw a few faith based films that weren’t terrible. This really isn’t faith based. It just happens to have a guy who attends church, and later in the film a church parking lot is used. Otherwise, this feels less like Miracles From Heaven and more about a redemption story mixed in with a perpetually tragic family drama. American Idol alumni, and current Jack reacher, Alan Ritchson stars as a … Continue reading Ordinary Angels

Madame Webb

the internet certainly has an opinion on this film. It’s like a grand offense that occurred, the cinematic equivalent of slapping someone’s mother. But is it really? If you want to comb back through, you’ll see that I didn’t quite buy the doom and gloom of Morbius, if for no other reason than it was the most normal performance Jared Leto has ever given. But, Madame Webb also has moments where it clearly could have been at least a decent film. So, let’s break down the hate, and see if it’s warranted. but first, the audio description. Laura post and … Continue reading Madame Webb

I.S.S.

Now is an excellent time to make more thrillers about tensions between America and Russia. I’m not sure we really ever stopped, though I do remember the Red Dawn remake specifically switched the baddies to North Koreans because they couldn’t run the Russian narrative at the time. Well, now we are shooting So you Think You Can Dance alumni Ariana Debose into space. Yeah, I know, she won an Oscar. But she started on So you Think You Can Dance. #neverForget Debose plays an astronaut we know next to nothing about, as the movie starts with her already on her … Continue reading I.S.S.