Where I Watched It: Netflix

English Audio Description?: Yes

Cast: Heather Graham, Brandy, Jason Biggs, Directed By: Mary Lambert

They got me. The good people at Netflix threw some shit into an algorithm and it worked. I clicked on this, and the more this movie lasted, the more I regretted my life choice. I feel like it has been forever since I’ve seen Heather Graham Supposedly she was in Extrapolations, and I might have seen something called love Guaranteed, but the last time I coherently remember Graham in something was The Hangover part 3. And I’m pretty sure Brandy hasn’t been on my screen in a while. Biggs, on the other hand was in a few seasons of Orange Is The New Black. But putting these three together made me believe this movie might have had some magic.

I should have looked at the director. A Netflix Christmas comedy from the director of pet Sematary? She also directed the awful 2000 release The in Crowd. After this, I’m certainly not a fan.

The plot has something to do with Graham being jealous of Brandy living her best life even though they are best friends, and there’s this quiet rivalry around Christmastime with friends trying to show each other up. Honestly, I zoned out the longer this movie went on, and I was truly and honestly asleep at the end. I’m reviewing a title that put me to sleep. That’s one of the reasons I don’t have the narrator information.

But, telling your audience that a film is so dull and lifeless it puts people to sleep is still a valid review. This brings and offers nothing. No one here is funny, the jokes don’t work, and the production values are terrible. last year, Netflix made a Justin Hartley movie that could have just been regular Christmas crap, but it was fairly well done. Then, they made a Lindsay Lohan movie that felt like they hired high school students to make it. This is the kind of embarrassing effort that no one wants you to see. If these three didn’t already have careers on life support, they do now.

From what I remember, this had competent audio description. That’s the best I’ve got from a movie I saw a few weeks ago, and I’m catching up on. And I didn’t care, and I fell asleep. But it wasn’t due to audio description.

Abysmal.

Final Grade: D