Originally, my plan was to watch this and hopefully have one more shortlisted Documentary Feature off my list. Then, the Oscars didn’t short list it, so this is just a review no one will care about. But, in case someone does, it’s valid to discuss this because Disney perpetually makes their feature docs available without audio description.

This one is about that guy from a few years back who tried to bring Jesus to a tribe on an island that has stayed in their own little indigenous bubble. This guy had the testicular fortitude, or utter insanity, to approach this island with a bible and just tell these people that Jesus loves them. Why? He wants the world to end. Quite literally. His belief, which we learn was passed down through extremist Christian teachings, is that we cannot all go to heaven until everyone on earth has heard the word. That’s literally insane. There’s a new human being born every minute, all over the world. You would have to put someone in every birthing room. Not to mention that Christians believe life begins at conception (yeah, fuckers, i know your religion) so you’d have to find a way to communicate with every single egg.

This is a story about a person who attended a church where his belief system led him to believe that, so he rowed out on a boat with a bible because somewhere out there was an island of people just living life. And he wanted to do his part to bring in either Armageddon, or a rapture, however you look at it.

This movie, in addition to not being accessible for blind and visually impaired watchers, really tries not to have an agenda, which is kind of impossible. Almost like it’s trying to pay respect to the subject matter. It should be exploring the absurdity of what he read and listened to to get to that point, but it doesn’t want to be divisive. It features these weird quiet moments like a nature documentary that do not serve the lack of audio description, and interviews people for random comments.

One lady who worked for the church says that all missionaries have a sponsor, and yet wouldn’t reveal who that was. Do some investigative filmmaking here. Uncover something. His father’s lost writings, which are read throughout the film, certainly point to a man who feels like his son was torn from him. Meanwhile, the son’s lost writings are batshit.

Removing how I feel about the film, there are scenes of still shots of… something. Disney has a warning on this film for violence, but the MPAA rating and IMDB’s Parents Guide don’t mention any violence. The lack of audio description makes me wonder if they have any footage of him being killed, because it seems like they’re trying to reenact things through these writings, but at some point, maybe he had a camera? the fact that there’s more that I don’t know than I do know is why this documentary is unwatchable, not because of how I feel about the documentarians lousy approach to its subject matter. Even with accessibility, I’m guessing this still would get a rotten from me on the Tomatometer.

Final Grade: Unwatchable