Cast: Dennis Quaid as Michael Brody, Bess Armstrong as Katherine, Simon MacCorkindale as Philip, Louis Gossett Jr. as Calvin, John Putch as Sean Brody, and Lea Thompson as Kelly Anne.

Written By:Richard Matheson (The Incredible Shrinking Man), Carl Gottleib (Jaws 2), Gurden Trueblood (story by), Peter Benchley (suggested by)

Directed By: Joe Alves (previously a production designer on Jaws and jaws 2, feature debut)

Original score by: Alan Parker (What’s Eating Gilbert Grape)

Studio: universal

Release Year: 1983

Runtime: 99 minutes

Rated PG

Audio Description Provided By: Deluxe

Written by:

Narrated By: Ron Snow

what Is it? A few years after the events of Jaws 2, Michael is inexplicably still drawn to the water, and has taken a job at Sea World where he can study and work around marine life. his younger brother Sean comes for a visit, but he’s not the only one. Something else comes for a visit, and it isn’t part of the attraction.

Why It Works: It’s campy. it’s nearly equal in quality to jaws The Revenge, but instead has a lighter tone, and is almost intentionally silly at times. Of the four films, it is the most ripe to have a good laugh at, because despite a few solid actors in the cast, this was misguided from the start. but there’s this fun charm about “what if jaws was at Sea World” that plays out, much like the curiosity would get us if the next Child’s Play film took place at Disney.

What Doesn’t Work: Everything. Nothing works. Even Louis Gossett Jr., who was their prestige hire (like Michael Caine in the fourth film) can’t save this. Dennis Quaid is a better Michael than the fourth film, but that bar is so low. My favorite scene is where these two random thieves sneak into the theme park to steal some stuff, and even though they should know why they are there, before they dive, they have this awkward exposition dump, like they needed to remind each other why they broke into sea World. Another favorite of mine, is how the other sequels are ‘based on characters created by peter Benchley”, this one is”suggested by”, almost like Peter Benchley disavowed this project even more than the other sequels.

the Audio description: it’s an older track that could use a refresh, but is anyone really clamoring for a hot new audio description track for this? it did the job, but until the whole film is restored for it’s 4K… glory? I don’t see anything changing.

You Might Like it if: you’re drunk, and at a party with your drunk friends. Or, if you enjoy bad movies either ironically or unironically.

You Might Not Like It if: most people won’t like this. Jaws was like getting an expertly crafted chocolate cake from a Michelin star chef, and the third film is like getting one of those Little Debbie Cosmic Brownies and pretending those two things are remotely similar in quality.

Rotten: Final Grade: 2.4/10