Cast: Samara Weaving, Carl Glossman, Andy Garcia, Steve Zahn, Jermaine Fowler, Marshawn Lynch, Randall Park, Elle Graham

Written And Directed By: Shawn Simmons

Studio/Streamer: 20th Century Fox/Hulu

Release Year: 2025

Audio Description provided By: Credit Needed

Written By: credit Needed

Narrated By: Credit Needed

What is it?: A young woman (Weaving) is pulled back into the life she left, because her ex-boyfriend is a tool, and she’s just gotten some news from the doctor regarding her future. Refusing to let him be killed by a crime boss (Garcia), she jumps behind the wheel for a heist that should pay back what they owe. But, AT WHAT COST?!

What Works: three cast members stand out. Weaving, who is just happy to not be pigeonholed into being a scream queen again, and is trying to flex her muscles outside her usual genre. She does a nice job of playing a street smart girl boss, so if anyone is looking for the next Charlize Theron, Zoe Saldana, or Ana de Armas, Weaving can be considered for something that would have her caked in blood for an entirely different set of reasons. It is inspired casting, because this is a role that I might have pushed toward Natasha Lyonne, looking to blend more comedy here, or perhaps Mary Elizabeth Winstead, who has done similar work, and remains under appreciated. Weaving would not have been my first thought.

Andy Garcia is cashing a check, but he does fit the role to perfection. He’s a tired, but wise crime boss, who sees things as they are. this film needed him and his experience on and off screen I’d imagine. Also, Marshawn Lynch is continuing to add roles to his resume that allow him to stand out. he was just in The Pickup, which was another streaming fail, but notably he was good in it. I think that’s the goal, is that even when the film is bad, you need to be good in it. I’m a fan of other cast members like Zahn and Park, but they just don’t offer much.

Conceptually, there’s something here, but it needed someone who knew what they were doing to drive it in the right direction. I thought I was watching a film where her driving skills were paramount, but the film dodges set pieces likely too expensive for conversations, light comedy, and character development. I should never roll my eyes at character development, yet somehow, the approach here doesn’t work like Oceans Eleven or Baby Driver. It just feels like they had a small budget, and the car sequences had to be minimal.

What Doesn’t Work: I truly don’t care about the actor playing the boyfriend. He’s so poorly written. From the onset, he’s a hapless loser, a ne’er do well that is dragging our lead down. It’s bizarre that she thinks she has a future with him. Because of the ending, they can’t really write him specifically in one direction or another. this indecision just makes him this sack of nothing, who has zero character growth, because he came in as a dumbass, and that’s where the film keeps him. Perhaps he means well, or perhaps he’s manipulating her. I would have rather seen someone like Charlie day in the role, or Jack Quaid.

also, Eenie Meanie is less of a getaway movie, and more of a get shit movie. It’s this “get the gang together” film, so we spend a lot of time rallying the crew, and bringing people together. Finally, the third act starts to have the testicular fortitude to ramp things up, but you already spent so long meandering that Eeenie Meanie is in a different genre by that time. Action? Nope. crime? Maybe. heist? Possibly. But a car chase film? Nope. Just having one doesn’t make you a car chase film. centering your film around it does.

The Audio Description: It was fine. Probably the best parts are the opening sequence when Eenie is a little girl and a getaway driver, as well as the parts featuring Weaving and Zahn later in the film. the chases are fine, but apparently not that creative.

Why You Might Like It: Samara Weaving has fans. and even though I didn’t love the film, it is way better than War Of The Worlds.

Why You Might Not Like it: If you are expecting Baby driver, but gender flipped, you will be sorely mistaken.

Final Thoughts: I’m not sure who watched The Continental and thought “find me those responsible, and give them movies”, but that was a mistake. A hot mess of a series begets an uninspired genre less entry that is trying so hard to be everything, it ends up being nothing. It isn’t funny, action packed, full of terrific stunts, or crisp dialogue. It just rolled off the Hulu streaming assembly line with a few solid performances in spite of itself.

Rotten: 5.0/10