Disclaimer: I’m a blind film critic, and this film has audio description.

It’s that time of year. time for merriment and spreading joy for all to hear.It also means an onslaught of repetitive winter romances masquerading as Christmas movies. My Secret Santa is probably the best swing, and total miss. This idea actually is great, and I’m sad this is what it became.

the plot of the film finds a mother (Alexandra Breckenridge) who is struggling, recently fired, trying to make rent, and her daughter just got accepted to an expensive snowboarding camp. She attempts to get a job at the resort where the camp is, hoping to make money, and get a discount on the camp, but there aren’t any jobs open. well, there’s one. Santa.It then evolves into a Mrs Doubtfire type thing and she also has a love interest (Ryan Eggold) she has to deal with when she’s not in Santa’s garb. She has to pretend to be a man to get the job. So, there in, the Doubtfire Clause.

But Alexandra Breckenridge? Not that I don’t think the virgin River lead should have a new Christmas film every year on Netflix, and as she was Jessie on the Walking Dead, I’ll always be a fan. But she’s just so wrong for this part. This film required a funny lady, a comedienne. She’s not. Every line just sounds like Alexandra, with a bit of a growl. I would have loved to see what Melissa McCarthy, Kate McKinnon, Amy Poehler, or any other actress would have done here. It could have been something really special.

Instead, this has no idea what it is, or wants to be. the romance is stunted, because of the dual roles, and characters are underdeveloped. Tia Mowery plays the closest thing we have to a villain, but other than wanting a promotion and having a kid, we don’t know anything about her. There are also two horror nerds that help Breckenridge get into the look of a man, but I can’t remember if they were friends, gay, roommates, cousins, brothers, or what connection they had. Another Netflix film this year, A Merry Little X-Mas, did the gay dad thing, and did it much more honestly and obviously. These two could be anything. I don’t even know if they have names.

And her daughter is even limited in scope. The film does manage to rope in this subplot where Breckenridge was also the lead singer of a band that was famous years ago, and only locally. this film needed a lifeline before it went down the cookie cutter train of Netflix productions they aren’t trying to get an Oscar for. these forgettable movie of the weeks. but considering they have drawn some funny ladies to projects in the past, I ahve to believe if anyone competent had seen this idea, they would have leveled it up, knowing they struck gold. Instead, it is just some mediocre holiday romance you’ll forget you saw in a few years.

My Secret Santa is full of potential that is never fully reached, because it is more interested in being cheap and easy than being actually memorable.

Rotten: 5.7/10