Disclaimer: I’m a kind film critic. I typically review films with audio description. This film has audio description on Prime Video produced by Deluxe.

I’m very open in terms of who I am, and what my bias is. there’s no point in this day and age pretending that we don’t enter into things with some level of bias, even apolitical issues. Sometimes an actor isn’t our thing, or the genre, or we read the book, or maybe we didn’t. My perspective is always blind, but I also openly admit any bias I have.

I do not like Donald Trump. This isn’t even like a green eggs and ham cute scenario where someone keeps asking me if I like him in a boat, or in a moat. No. Never. Beyond redemption. Oddly, I still have to enjoy Home Alone 2: lost In New York, as I also abhor censorship. Go figure. I’d prefer the version still containing his scene over one that does not.

So this overly expensive documentary about Melania, which has, unsurprisingly, been maligned by critics and audiences, had a mountain to climb. Director Brett Ratner, who while never my favorite director, has made a few decent films, is jumping into the non fiction genre. Now that it is part of my Prime subscription, and I’m basically already paying for it, I decided it was time to bask in the radiance of Melania.

One thing that the film has going for it is that it is about Melania Trump. She is truly front and center, and her husband makes only a few appearances.While she never speaks ill of him, she also doesn’t spend the entire film telling us how great he is. However, she also doesn’t do much. Basically, this was shot in the weeks leading up to the second inauguration, and Melania is relishing in making dozens of style choices, having declared her expertise in the field. The depth of her comes sporadically in muted reactions to the California wildfires, and a meeting with a former HAMAS hostage who is hoping Melania can get her husband freed as well. Melania has no dramatic range, and these scenes feel forced, like obligations. She clearly is far more interested in shiny things, and being a role model to women isn’t her strong suit. Honestly, her entire anti-cyber bullying campaign is nonsense considering how the call really feels like it is coming from inside the house.

Ratner chooses to fill the film with needle drops, including Billie Jean, and an apparent original score, which just sounds like random classical music. Melania does a ton of voiceover, and all of it is so flat you could stand on it and see for miles. It’s hard to tell if this is really Melania, or Melania putting on the show she thinks her MAGA audience wants. Her target demo wants to see an attractive and supportive wife, who doesn’t seem to have many strong opinions, or a personality that stands on her own. I wish we had gotten the real Melania, someone unafraid of what would be captured and shown in camera, because at least that would feel real. This plays like a promo for Melania,the idea of her, but not really who she is. Even when she discusses the death of her mother, she lacks normal human emotions.

Still, in the grand scheme of things, this is not the worst thing I’ve ever seen. It just isn’t. Dinesh D’Souza makes worse films. Ratner just got saddled making a pointless PR campaign that isn’t so much a documentary as it is an ad for the brand Melania. This achieves more of what it seems to promise to its fanbase more than Amazon’s War Of The worlds, which gave us nothing. Here, I think the film as is, does appeal to the cultish following that Trump has, and they aren’t looking for a deeper piece than this. For them, this is enough. for most people, it won’t be, but for a few, this is exactly what they signed up for.

And because accessibility is a right, I celebrate the presence of audio description here, and also that Deluxe didn’t back down. this is an excellent track. Melania is concerned so much with visuals and fashion, and the audio description does that. It mentions her long brown hair with blonde highlights, her stiletto heels, and even her mascara. Anytime it has the opportunity to describe a dress or a fabric, it tries. the audio description could also never be accused of bias, presenting the film as is, and staying away from commentary on how poorly it is shot, or how wooden or stiff Melania likely appears.

Considering Andrew Stanton already put me to sleep with his dull film, I’m not even sure Melania is the worst film of 2026. it’s definitely down in the bottom, and likely will be in my bottom ten. However, War Of The Worlds is a worse film, because it promised more, and delivered far less. The argument can be made here, that Melania offered something and gave something, but for those who are outside her niche fanbase, this likely is a waste of time. Even some MAGA die hards might be bored by the lack of substantial content.

The most amusing moment, for me, is the audacity to compare her to three other First Ladies, Eleanor Roosevelt, Mamie Eisenhower, and Jackie Kennedy. Two of those, hilariously, are Democrats. She has nothing in common with Eleanor other than the title. At least Melania’s attempt at being a fashion icon makes the comparison to Kennedy not utterly insane, but I probably would have swapped Eleanor for Betty Ford or Nancy Reagan.

I’m not surprised I didn’t like it, or that I didn’t find anything meaningful here. Melania is exactly what you think it is. A very expensive advertisement for the brand Melania, not so much an exploration of who Melania was, is, or wants to be.

Rotten: 2/10