Didn’t we just have an action Ballerina film last year? Still, the concept of ballerinas using their particular set of skills to get themselves out of a tight situation feels like something fun to sit through. Even though Ana de Armas just did an overpowered version of this last year, I’m still excited to see *checks notes* Maddie Ziegler kick some ass? Yes. And that is the draw of pretty Lethal, the new Amazon Prime exclusive.

The film had its world premiere at the SXSW Film Festival before landing on Prime Video with audio description (we will get to that), which feels like a pointless journey to debut a film at a festival to just toss it onto streaming. Disney did the same thing with Mike & Nick & Nick & Alice, which also went right to streaming after its festival premiere. Didn’t these things used to be for films seeking distribution

The movie follows a group of young ballerinas traveling to a competition in Europe whose trip goes sideways when their bus breaks down near a remote inn. What starts as a minor inconvenience quickly turns into a fight for survival when they stumble into the orbit of a criminal operation run by a former dancer (Uma Thurman) with a grudge. From there, the film leans hard into its gimmick: these dancers are going to have to stay on pointe if they want to survive.

When Pretty Lethal is focused on turning ballet into fight choreography, it works. The film understands that dance and fight choreography are destined to coexist, and there’s a certain joy in watching that idea play out. Spins become attacks, leaps become evasive maneuvers, and yes, at one point blades are strapped to ballet shoes for a fight sequence that’s equal parts absurd and entertaining. It’s the kind of set piece that makes you think, “Okay, that’s why this movie exists.”

The cast includes Maddie Ziegler (The Book Of Henry), Lana Condor (Moonshot), Iris Apatow (This Is 40), Millicent Simmonds (A Quiet Place), and Avantika (the Mean Girls remake), and while each are independently talented, they lack character development or depth. Millicent is reduced to playing the deaf ballerina for so long, she misses the initial inciting incident and spends the first portion flirting with a random henchman who might give her a tattoo. Ziegler is presented as the most capable, in terms of street smarts, not falling apart instantaneously, but the other three are pretty interchangeable. The film relies so heavily on its concept, it forgot to build a story to support it, so ultimately, the film becomes more about how badly you want to see ballet dancers dispatching goons with blades in their shoes, or if you care that the world they are in has no structure, and unapologetically doesn’t care. Thurman’s ambiguous baddie is supposed to be intimidated by the son of a crime boss, but she seems barely bothered by his presence, like a mild inconvenience. Perhaps, if we knew more about the danger these girls faced, or Thurman’s backstory, the film would make sense on its own. Instead, it relies on the fun of the gimmick, which is admittedly, very fun.

The casting of Thurman here once again feels like a consolation prize, like it did in The Old Guard 2, where we expect a lot more from her, and get a lot less. she’s The bride. Give her a sword, and let her slice some bodies up.

The audio description was pretty good until it wasn’t. I liked the way it was tracking the girls, and it gave the henchmen names so we didn’t just keep counting up in numbers. “goon 37 gets thrown across the room.” No one wants that. but it was the big end, the dance sequence, the real one that lost me. I have the battle in the blind community over interpretative audio description, reading too much behind a look, or a moment, but this narrator goes all out, instead of being able to describe the ballet itself, we hear phrases like “they dance like they’ve never danced before”, which is something you couldn’t possibly know. “They dance with freedom, renewed energy, complete synchronization”, something, but it felt like the writer assigned just gave up, and started using a blanket description to try and enforce that what he’s seeing is really cool, he just can’t bring that to the table with his skill set. I’m saying his, because I purposely didn’t stay for the credits. I know too many people in AD, and I need to be able to say this without feeling like I’m throwing down on something.

Pretty Lethal might have a killer logline, but it is pretty lame in its character development, making a fun action film fairly tame.

Fresh: 6.4/10