Category: Movie Review

Movie ReviewLeave a comment

As Above So Below

John Stark

English Audio Description?: Yes Rapidly catching up on my insanity to try and review 62 movies in October, I have completely forgotten where I watched this, and apparently have no notes. I think I thought i would remember, and i think it was Freevee, but I’m not confident enough to say that. So, this found footage horror film has an audio description track, because I’ve heard it. And, once again, thanks to The Blair Witch Project for this genre being done to death in horror films. This does have the distinguished charm of being actually shot in the catacombs. Maybe … Continue reading As Above So Below

Movie ReviewLeave a comment

The Burial

John Stark

Where I Watched it: Amazon English Audio Description? Yes Jamie Foxx has had a year. luckily for him, he seems to be coming out the other side, and he’s doing so with a strong performance in what should be Oscar bait. Oddly enough, it was his performance in They Cloned Tyrone that recently earned him a Gotham nomination, not the burial, adding to my idea that no one has watched this movie. Based on the true story of a small funeral home operator (Tommy Lee Jones), who gets the run around from a corporation looking to buy out funeral homes … Continue reading The Burial

Movie ReviewLeave a comment

The Babadook

John Stark

English Audio Description?: Yes Still catching up on old Halloween titles, and I finally watched The Babadook. Now, I can understand the hype to some extent. it wasn’t the scariest thing I’d ever seen, but it had a lot going for it. Basically, this Australian horror film centers around a mom, who is still recovering from some grief, and her son, and how the world doesn’t want her son. Honestly, that’s the one thing this film did the best. We all love our kids, but even this guy is a bit much. The direction here was so much to make … Continue reading The Babadook

Movie ReviewLeave a comment

The Caine Mutiny Court Marshal

John Stark

Where I Watched it: Paramount Plus English Audio Description Provided By: Roundabout Narrated By: Elias Recently, we lost director William Friedkin, who had already earned his place among the best directors of all time. He’s been in that group since his 1971 Best Picture winner The French Connection, which he followed up with the horror classic The Exorcist. Honestly, he could have just stopped there. He probably should have. Though his career does include some fondly remembered films like To Live and Die in LA, it also features the Al Pacino flop Crusin, the David Caruso forgotten erotic thriller Jade, … Continue reading The Caine Mutiny Court Marshal

Movie ReviewLeave a comment

The Cloverfield Paradox

John Stark

Where I Watched it: Netflix English Audio Description?: Yes I finally took this Halloween season to round out the Cloverfield franchise by finally checking out this much derided entry. it deserves a lot of the hate being thrown its way, as it feels like a film that was made, and then given a Cloverfield spin.It barely takes advantage of the world created by Cloverfield, and spends its time in space with a rather impressive cast doing unimpressive things. It’s one of those “am I losing my mind?” Films, and deals with parallel dimensions and stuff, but nothing that would lead … Continue reading The Cloverfield Paradox

Movie ReviewLeave a comment

Double Dragon

John Stark

Where I Watched it: Peacock English Audio Description?: No Peacock knew exactly what totally random title to suggest to me in that moment, and that moment was ripe for Double Dragon. no, it doesn’t have audio description. Yes, it should. Will anyone care? No. Double Dragon is a pretty notoriously awful film adaptation from the 90’s, which features mark Dascascos and Scott Wolf (one of them can actuallly fight, the other is pretty), who get roped up in the attempt to bring an actual plot and story to the old school Nintendo game. This was still from the period where … Continue reading Double Dragon

Movie ReviewLeave a comment

Friday The 13th (2009)

John Stark

Where I Watched it: MAX English Audio Description?: Yes Before we even talk about this, we need to have a talk, just me and the peeps at wBD. hi. it’s me. The guy who consistently calls out streamers for nonsensical decisions when it comes to streaming and audio description. Can someone on your end explain to me why you selectively choose to provide audio description for sequels but not the first film? MAX has three of the original Friday The 13th films described, but not the original, and there’s a gap. Serious question, is this how you watch movies? Do … Continue reading Friday The 13th (2009)

Movie ReviewLeave a comment

Strays

John Stark

Where i watched It: Peacock English Audio Description?: Yes I love dog movies. I don’t know why, but they have one hell of an ability to make me cry. I was an absolute mess at the end of Marley and me. I remember that My Dog Skip got me back in the day, and even A Dog’s Purpose had a moment (though the sequel did not). I didn’t cry during Strays. Think of Strays as the Sausage Party version of its predecessors. Hilarious, raunchy, and whip smart, Strays takes a look at things from a different perspective and puts them … Continue reading Strays

Movie ReviewLeave a comment

Appendage

John Stark

Where I Watched it: Hulu English Audio Description Provided By: point 360 Written By James Mason Narrated By Robert Ericsson Hulu seems to invest in low-budget horror for October, as every year I end up watching some random stuff they are pumping out that no one else is watching or cares about. Even a cast member of Schitt’s Creek isn’t enough to make this pop. And mislabeling this movie as a Comedy/Horror is not going to help. in fact, considering that a large chunk of this film and how the monster works is making someone depressed, lonely, and feeling worthless, … Continue reading Appendage

Movie ReviewLeave a comment

Come Play

John Stark

Where I Watched it: Free Vee English Audio Description?: Yes Narrated By: AI Yeah, I’m pretty sure this was an AI narrated film. It’s sad, because I spend my whole day dealing with artificial intelligence and screenreaders that range from nightmarish to almost human. Even as i type, this inhuman voice is giving me the letters back as I hit them. I suppose after seeing Come Play, I should be happy that the only thing my device is giving me is this voice. Come Play is an interesting horror title from a few years back that features Gillian Jacob’s and … Continue reading Come Play

Movie ReviewLeave a comment

Totally Killer

John Stark

Where I Watched it: Amazon English Audio Description By The Media Access Group Narrated By Xanthie Page One of my favorite horror movies is a little seen horror comedy The Final Girls. In many ways, this reminded me of that film. Except, this one is less Groundhog Day, and more Back To The Future. A teenager lives in a community where years ago three girls were brutally murdered, and the killer was never caught. She really wants to go out with her friends, but her mom is overprotective because she lived in the town back then, along with her dad, … Continue reading Totally Killer

Movie ReviewLeave a comment

Haunted Mansion

John Stark

Where I Watched It: Disney plus English Audio Description?: Yes I did approach the concept of yet another Hanuted Mansion film with trepidation. A lot of that was alleviated by the fact that Justin Simian would be behind the director’s chair. Not only was I a fan of the film Dear White People, but I also enjoyed the Netflix show inspired by it. I wasn’t sure how his satirical tone would mix with a Disney franchise, but I was mostly pleasantly surprised. This version of the haunted Mansion seems like it is trying to be a little scarier, with a … Continue reading Haunted Mansion

Movie ReviewLeave a comment

The Haunted Mansion (2003)

John Stark

Where I Watched It: Disney plus English Audio Description provided By: Deluxe Narrated By: Alexander Graham Justin Simian has a remake/reboot that will be the next thing i review, but I decided to give this Eddie Murphy version a second chance. it wasn’t as bad as I remembered it, and it probably never was. Honestly, Murphy had this period where he didn’t seem to be reading the scripts, and directors just let him do his thing, and that is all over this movie. There’s also a weird subplot that involves why his family is drawn to the mansion in the … Continue reading The Haunted Mansion (2003)

Movie ReviewLeave a comment

Cuajó

John Stark

Where I Watched It: MAX English Audio Description?: Yes This film is as old as I am. I hear I don’t look my age. I’m pretty sure this does. Cujo even sounded like a film no one had bothered to preserve on any level, and the newer audio description track stands in stark contrast. Other things that distract me about this film is that, well, it’s not scary, and it’s pretty awful. There is so much character development in this film you’ll forget you are watching a movie about a killer dog. So many unnecessary plot points, because a rabid … Continue reading Cuajó

Movie ReviewLeave a comment

FairPlay

John Stark

Where I Watched it: Netflix English Audio Description?: Yes Netflix acquired this sexy thriller out of Sundance, and it is one of those extremely on the outer ring Oscar bait films that might get a few mentions here and there, so this is possibly not the last time you will hear of this. The movie stars Phoebe Dynevor, an actress who unfortunately is now legally required to make a tutorial on how to pronounce her name. I subscribe to a multitude of other critics, and listen to their thoughts on movies, and no one knows how to say her name. … Continue reading FairPlay