Hit and Run

STARRING: Dax Shepard, Kristen Bell, Bradley Cooper, Tom Arnold, Kristen Chenoweth, Michael Rosenbaum, Joy Bryant, David Koechner, Beau Bridges, Ryan Hansen, Sean Hayes

DIRECTED BY: Dax Shepard and David Palmer

Please God, let Dax Shepard never Direct, Write, and Star in another movie ever again. Preferably, let’s just keep him as an actor, and maybe just a supporting one at that. I don’t know why a studio backed this movie, but I think the money could have probably been better spent on something that could have been made for a million dollars and went straight to video.

The plot of the film revolves around Charlie (Dax Shepard) who is in the witness protection program, and his lovely girlfriend Annie (Kristen Bell) who is a college professor with her Ph.D. Don’t even get me started on how these two probably met, since they are the most mismatched couple ever. Annie gets offered a job at a university in Los Angeles, and she has to go there for a job interview, and Charlie somehow has to go with her. I’m still unclear why, but the film makes it seem like Annie will be moving there while simultaneously going for the interview, even though she doesn’t have the job, or a place to stay.

Anyway, Charlie has literally the worst handler ever (Tom Arnold). He bumbles around throughout the film. Kristen Chenoweth is a friend of Annie’s, who is barely in the film. Bradley Cooper plays a dreaded ex-associate of Charlie’s. Cooper plays Dmitry, who is introduced to us as a guy bickering with a very large black man  about dog food, and later kicks his ass. That’s how we’re supposed to know he’s crazy.

The problem here is that Shepard was given total control over the film. He started with an awful script that drags along at an incredibly painful place, filled with odd conversations about whether or not Dax can say “fag” without it being homophobic, walking in on a senior citizens swinger party, and random stuff that runs through his mind. Dax has made a lot of stride as a serious actor on Parenthood, I don’t understand why he felt the need to make this film. Kristen Bell is pretty useless, because she was given a terrible role. Tom Arnold is awful. The direction is worse than half of the user created videos on youtube.

I never laughed, not once, during this entire movie. It definitely was one of the worst films of 2012. If you had the choice to watch or run, I would choose run.


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