300 Rise Of An Empire

Starring: Sullivan Stapleton, Eva Green, Lena Headey, Rodrigo Santoro, David Wenham

Directed By: Noam Murro

Full disclosure, right upfront…. I fell asleep. This movie put me to sleep, and normally I don’t review movies that I didn’t see at least 90% of the film (even critics use the bathroom), but I feel like this movie is a special exception because something should be said about how incredibly bored I was of what should have been a straight-to-video sequel.

First off, you can’t replace Gerard Butler with whoever the fuck that was. Sullivan Stapleton? Then again, I keep telling everyone that Jai Courtney is a waste of space, and he keeps getting cast.. so who am I to judge? I think Sullivan Stapleton lacks any kind of charisma or star quality that Butler had, that caused him to be a breakout star. Stapleton can’t possibly breakout. I couldn’t pick him out of a crowd.

Eva Green plays a badass so poorly written that she actually has to make out with a decapitated head in order to prove her badassery.

Oh, and be ready for TONS of exposition. I think the first half of the movie is exposition. Just when you think they’re over.. there’s more.

It felt like a cheap retread, and only created to make money, not to tell a story or offer a meaningful contribution to the 300 franchise. I’ve seen American Pie sequels I’ve liked better than this. It was pretty to look at, so that’s something, but largely this was a massive waste of time… except for that wonderful nap I had.

FINAL GRADE: F

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