Well, sometimes I watch so many damn movies, I don’t always review them in the moments after. Truth be told, I have no information on who made this audio description. That could very well mean there wasn’t any announced at the end. After all, Blacklight is one of those films that just dies when released upon the world. I don’t even think it was given the same theatrical push as some of Neeson’s past recent works like Honest thief. I really believe people saw this, they knew it was terrible, and just dropped it onto VOD. no one even bothered to attempt to sell this to a a streaming service, because who would pay for this? Tubi? Free Vee?

Blacklight is one of those films that’s an amalgamation of Liam Neeson’s past works, because apparently he’s in full on “will work for food” mode. He plays a man with a particular set of skills, this time working in some non descript position where he acts as a handler of sorts for agents who are deep undercover. When one of his people goes off the rails, secrets unfold, journalists get involved, and Neeson starts to have memory problems (we’ve been here before too).

Coincidentally, even though I haven’t seen it, his next film is called memory, and I feel like his team has just given up. His publicist and agent are in complete “fuck it” mode, and he will literally just keep churning out versions of the same film forever and ever. Some critics have noted that Liam Neeson is terrible in this. THat’s not fair. The film is terrible. Neeson is just being Neeson in a film that has a script written by Mad Libs.

And the fact that no one seems to care or want to talk about how his co-star here is Aidan Quinn must be causing some seriously dark depression for an actor who once had marquee status. It’s been quite a fall for this former legend. Is his part mostly bullshit and irrelevant? Sure. He’s incredibly dull and forgettable, but this is where his career is at now too. We have consciously, as cinemagoers, allowed Aidan Quinn to fall off the face of the planet.

The worst sin this film achieves, other than being non-sensical and repetitive in terms of a Liam Neeson film, is that they went out and found the worst child actress. I’m not big on making fun of children in films, but this girl never needed to be cast inn this role. She’s given far too many lines, and she’d better be cute as hell for the visual audience, because her line delivery is some of the worst delivery ever. I had an intense dislike for her character, not just because of the actress, but because this script is terrible. Neeson is apparently so over the top, he’s trained this five year old to think like the world is out to get her, so she is constantly checking to make sure doors are locked, and she’s not being followed.

And yet, she still gets taken. because, this is the most repetitive Neeson movie.

This is without a doubt one of the worst Liam Neeson films of his career, and this is coming from a guy who will actually stand up for a handful of his post-Taken Neeson renaissance films. I really like Run All night, and I think A Walk Among The Tombstones is pretty good. He was also pretty darn great in Widows. So I’m not a hater, but this film, and some recent Netflix crap have led me to believe Neeson needs these films or he can’t eat. That’s the only excuse for making Blacklight.

The Blind Perspective: I really don’t remember the audio description for this film. I feel like, gun to my head, it wasn’t perfect. It had problems. But I’ve seen too many things in the past week, and now I can’t specifically remember what the hell I was going to say here. But there was something.

Final Grade: D

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