There’s certainly an element of They Will Kill You that feels like someone was watching Only Murders in the Building and thought to themselves, “Hold my beer. I’ve got this.” Then they decided the film should be only in the building and that the murders should take full advantage of an R rating. Because They Will Kill You does basically take place in one building, just like the hit comedy series, and yes, people die. I know that’s shocking for a movie called They Will Kill You. There might be a death or two in here. And I’m sure you’re aghast that I might have spoiled something for you, but there’s much more to be had. Plus, it is a horror film, so did you really think there was going to be a movie called They Will Kill You in the horror genre with no deaths? If so, I have some swampland to sell you.
They Will Kill You follows a mysterious woman played by Zazie Beetz, whose career is getting more and more interesting by the minute. She arrives at this building without giving us a lot of background information and appears to be a new hire. She’s greeted by the woman in charge of the building’s staff, played by Patricia Arquette, shown to her chambers, which amount to a tiny apartment, and expected to get some sleep before waking up and getting to work the next day. Except none of that happens.
She does attempt to sleep, but things start getting very weird very fast. It becomes clear that something is not right in this building, and in pretty quick succession, she becomes the target of the residents, who plan on using their newest hire for a ritual sacrifice. The only problem is that she came kind of prepared for it. She’s highly trained, self-sufficient and a complete badass who can absolutely take care of herself. So, as she fights the people who thought she was just some weak maid they could chop into bits, it turns out she was playing them all along.
She knew what might become of her. She had done her research, and she came here to rescue her sister, who is somewhere in the building working among the staff. She hasn’t seen her estranged sister in years, and by God, she’s going to kill every motherfucker standing between her and finding her sister if she has to. But there’s another catch.
The reason these people need to kill her is because the sacrifice keeps their immortality alive. So, how do you kill your way through a bunch of people who can’t die in order to save your sister from a cult that will do anything to stay alive forever and remain exactly as they are?
While that might sound a little spoilery, it’s really just the setup. The actual execution is what makes the film interesting because They Will Kill You has a lot of fun with the premise of immortality. And they mean immortality.
If something happens to you, the immortality will fix you. Get decapitated? Plop that head back on and you’re good to go. Lose a limb? See if you can reattach it. And if your head gets blown clean off, well, maybe a little piece of your brain or face will scoot along the floor trying to find something useful.
This is definitely a gory movie. It’s definitely a violent movie. It’s definitely a horror comedy, and somehow the craziest parts are still waiting for you in the third act, even though this movie doesn’t waste much time getting going.
I cannot stress enough how you might think the film is starting off at an eleven, but really it is mild at the beginning, running up to an insane fever pitch final ending, blood soaked, totally bizarre, and completely unpredictable.
Aside from Zazie Beetz and Patricia Arquette, Heather Graham is here, and I haven’t seen her in a while, so it’s lovely to see her again. Tom Felton, our Draco Malfoy from the Harry Potter films, also shows up. They are among the residents our heroine must get past if she has any hope of reaching her sister. But, again, things get more complicated, and I really enjoyed the twist that has to be pulled off at the end for all of this to work. This is a crazy ride.
I don’t think They Will Kill You is for everybody, but when it finds its audience, the people who enjoy something like this are going to love the hell out of it. It knows exactly what kind of movie it wants to be, and it commits to the blood, violence, comedy and sheer insanity of its premise. Obviously, it has audio description, which it absolutely needs, and there are some excellent moments in the audio description track. Like I said, there’s a moment where the film explores what happens when your head is in multiple pieces, and man, the audio description around that was pretty fantastic. I certainly applaud the work done here for this film because there are some truly bizarre visual moments that have to be communicated, and the audio description doesn’t shy away from them.
The performances are good, the action is fun, and there are some memorable moments scattered among all the blood and body parts. They Will Kill You is the kind of film that could develop its own little following over time. In a year when we’re getting a second Ready or Not film, it wouldn’t surprise me if, four or five years from now, we’re talking about They Will Kill You again.
It may sound like a threat, but They Will Kill You is far more of a promise of having an absolute blast, in one of the craziest rides you’ll take at the cinema this year.
Fresh: 7.1/10
