Category: Movie Review

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Fall

John Stark

Where I Watched It: iTunes English Audio Description Provided By: Deluxe Narrated By: Nicole Sansorella It could be a controversial statement to say that Fall is not for the blind. i mean, we do have accessibility here, and Nicole Sansorella and the team at Deluxe are working overtime to make this make sense, but Fall just doesn’t work. To be honest, this limited location thriller concept has worked better in the past. Granted, every single version of this i can come up with, I was able to see. The Shallows really stands out to me as creating high stakes, and … Continue reading Fall

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The Elephant Whisperers

John Stark

Where I Watched It: Netflix English Audio Description?: No Yes, this might be considered unfair for me to be slinging mud at Netflix for not providing audio description for a documentary short from a foreign country, and just audio dubbing, but i would argue that the minute this thing made the Oscar shortlist, it became relevant, and the second it gets a nomination, I have the power on my side to demand audio description. If you’re gonna run an Oscar campaign here, you can spend the money to make it accessible. The same will go for RRR, should that break … Continue reading The Elephant Whisperers

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The Cathedral

John Stark

Where I Watched It: iTunes English Audio Description?: no I swear, once i start reviewing 2023 movies, it will be very different. I went all in for 2022, and it’s so hard catching up on reviews. i saw this about three weeks ago, and I’m just now getting around to trying to remember a rather artistic film that had no audio description. I’d love to believe I could do it. i can’t. I chose to watch this after I saw it getting some love in some smaller critic awards, mostly for Brian D’Arcy James, who I adore. I would love … Continue reading The Cathedral

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Armageddon Time

John Stark

Where I Watched it: iTunes English Audio Description provided By: The Media Access Group Narrated By: Adrienne Barbeau What I knew about Armageddon Time going in was that it was basically a failed Oscar bait film. It wasn’t getting the kind of reception it had hoped for from all the precursor awards/ That doesn’t always mean a film is bad. Mass got zero nominations last year only because Oscar voters suck. Not because the film did. So maybe Armageddon time was this year’s Mass. It’s not. It’s like Kanye’s fever dream. Racist Jewish people. I’m not really sure what James … Continue reading Armageddon Time

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Retrograde

John Stark

Where i Watched It: Disney Plus English Audio Description?: Yes This pull out of Afghanistan is becoming a hot bed for filmmakers. I already watched the documentary Escape From Kabul earlier this year, and now Retrograde looks to tell a very similar story. My problem here is that while I didn’t give Escape From Kabul a terribly high grade at the time, after watching Retrograde, it’s clearly the better documentary. Escape From Kabul, which is available on HBO MAX, mostly focused on the clusterfuck at the actual airport. It got tons of insane footage, and had interviews with people who … Continue reading Retrograde

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Call Jane

John Stark

Where I Watched it: iTunes English Audio Description?: No This year, I was treated to a fantastic documentary that showed me a part of history I was unfamiliar with. That documentary is The Janes. So, I was interested in a fictional story based around the same concept, even if it didn’t have audio description. The cast here is great, so maybe that all will be enough. And for the most part, it was as good as it could be without audio description. The film centers around a woman who really isn’t necessarily looking to get an abortion until she’s told … Continue reading Call Jane

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Mac and Rita

John Stark

Where i watched it: iTunes (though it’s now on Hulu) English Audio Description?: no I’m not sure even audio description would have saved this film. I don’t know why Diane Keaton is in this. She did Annie hall. Why does she keep choosing these mediocre and terrible films? It’s like she keeps hoping she’ll have another Something’s Gotta Give, but Mac and Rita just isn’t funny. The plot revolves around a young woman who is such an old soul that (you really don’t want to know how, it’s too stupid) becomes an old lady. Suddenly, MAc becomes Rita. hilarious. Most … Continue reading Mac and Rita

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Funny Pages

John Stark

Where I Watched it: iTunes English Audio Description?: Yes Owen kline’s directorial debut is a bold statement for the kinds of stories he wants to tell moving forward. The son of Kevin Kline, who does have an acting background himself, has decided to shoot for this john Waters-lite style. He’s not quite subversive enough to go full Pink Flamingos, but tehre’s something about kline’s adoration for garbage, and featuring a character who believes the only way to ever be a true artist is to start from the bottom. Kline is saying a lot here, not just about artists, but possibly … Continue reading Funny Pages

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The Flagmakers

John Stark

Where I Watched it: Disney Plus English Audio Description provided By Zoo Digital Narrated by Tanzi Alexander The Flagmakers is one of the lucky few films on the short list for Best Documentary Short, and it has the pleasure of being featured on Disney Plus. Although, if you’re asking me if I believe the members of the Documentary branch of the Academy care about Disney Plus… It’s a great find, in terms of a story the world knew nothing about. Make a film about the most American thing anyone could think of, and show the world that most of those … Continue reading The Flagmakers

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Devotion

John Stark

Where I Watched it: Paramount Plus English Audio Description?: Yes Perhaps, if I had seen Top Gun Maverick in theatres the day it was released, and allowed myself some gigantic amount of time, or at least the maximum amount before watching Devotion, I might have found something worthwhile in this movie. I hate coming in here and saying that someone’s real life, their true story is boring. But, Devotion is boring. It just is. I don’t think it’s the fault of those who lived a life so the tale could be told, it’s just unfortunate timing. when you follow Top … Continue reading Devotion

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She Said

John Stark

Where I Watched It: Peacock English Audio Description Available?: Yes Journalists break stories. And if they can break them fast enough, we can actually get a movie out while their main target is still in litigation. If you recall, this dropped at the same time Harvey Weinstin’s case in Los Angeles was going on, and I definitely found it amusing that the judge had to tell the jury not to watch the trailer for the film. In general, I wish more people would watch She Said. no, not because it’s my favorite film of the year or anything, but Maria … Continue reading She Said

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The Pale Blue Eye

John Stark

Where I Watched it: Netflix English Audio Description Available?: Yes This isn’t the first Oscar bait Netflix film that just didn’t work on me. This season, I’ve already tanked two of their actually well-reviewed hopefuls for various reasons. The pale Blue Eye is getting that treatment, and i think Netflix might be ok with that. when you look at the marketing for this, and the fact that it technically dropped on Netflix in January, you might consider this a 2023 film. You’d be wrong. This had a qualifying run for Oscar consideration, it’s just not getting a ton of momentum. … Continue reading The Pale Blue Eye

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Triangle Of Sadness

John Stark

Where I watched It: iTunes English Audio Description?: no neon is very underwhelming when it comes to making sure their films have audio description. I do not believe a track exists, as I have a blind friend who saw this theatrically and confirmed there was no audio description. So, this isn’t so much a traditional review as one of my rants about audio description and the lack thereof. Triangle Of sadness has a large ensemble. i mention this because as a sighted person, I relied a lot on facial recognition to follow characters. It was really easy. Now, I try … Continue reading Triangle Of Sadness

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Tar

John Stark

Where i Watched it: iTunes English Audio Description Provided By: The Media Access Group Narrated By: Andrew Thatcher You’ve probably heard quite a bit about this tour de force Cate Blanchett turns in this year in Todd Field’s Tar. Certainly, it’s because the film is well crafted, and Blanchett is one of the best living actresses. But in Tar, a film that explores and seems to have something to say about our new world we’ve created for ourselves, the complex theories in Tar likely make this a limited appeal film. I know that critics love this film, but I don’t … Continue reading Tar

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The Eternal Daughter

John Stark

Where I watched It: iTunes English Audio Description?: Yes Narrated By: Darren Polish This film has one of the most obsessively and aggressively annoying sound designs. This, and the Amazon movie Nanny, are both designed to drive you mad by creating sound design that isn’t scary, but so obnoxious you lose your damn mind. The whole reason this film exists, and why someone like Martin Scorsese would be a producer (Yes, really) is Tilda Swinton. This is a perfect A24 release. it’s artistic as fuck, and people will debate and dissect this for years to come. The reality is that … Continue reading The Eternal Daughter