Category: Movie Review

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Citizen Ruth

John Stark

Where I Watched it: Paramount Plus English Audio Description Available?: No I went way off script and watched a film with no audio description, that came from the mid-90’s. No, I don’t really have a good reason except Paramount Plus was pushing it on me, and I hadn’t seen it yet. For lack of a better term, Citizen Ruth is an abortion comedy. That’s as weird for me to type out as it is for you to read. And, it totally feels 90’s, complete with a late in the film arrival by Burt Reynolds. Basically, Ruth is a Trainwreck of … Continue reading Citizen Ruth

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Samaritan

John Stark

Where i Watched it: Amazon Description Provided By: Deluxe Narrated By: William michael Redmond in the grand tradition of superhero movies, Sylvester Stallone is finally taking his stab at this genre. His long awaited attempt at a… oh, you mean he’s already done a comic book film before? Oh, he’s done multiple? Well then. I guess he’s addicted to being a hero. Samaritan feels very 90’s, in the way that we used to have these films where a major star would team up with a kid, but ultimately the forward motion of the film was provided mostly by the kid, … Continue reading Samaritan

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Me Time

John Stark

Where I Watched It: Netflix English Audio Description Available?: Yes Narration Written By: CJ Hardy In a world where something like The Sandman might not get a second season, Netflix keeps green lighting absolute garbage. I’m beginning to think that Netflix has some blackmail dirt on Mark Wahlberg and Kevin Hart based on the amount of already sub-par material they have produced for the service. This film just solidifies it as it is one of the worst films of the year. Me Time actually manages to take two charismatic actors (along with Regina Hall) and put them in a film … Continue reading Me Time

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Belle

John Stark

Where I Watched It: HBo MAX Audio Description Provided By: Descriptive Video Works Just in case anyone important at a studio ever reads my blog, I’d like to start off by saying there is a deeply underserved portion of the blind and visually impaired population that is craving English audio description tracks for anime. Just, in general. Whether either Funimation or Crunchyroll decided to drop into the audio description game, it likely would lead to an influx of subscribers, if you feel stagnation, as well as just (quite frankly) being the right fucking thing to do for every content provider, … Continue reading Belle

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Rosemary’s Baby

John Stark

Where I Watched It: Amazon Audio Description Provided By: Deluze Narration By: Jedidiah Barton I should probably address the fact that this is my first time through this film, which I admit is recognized as a classic. And, films that reach this status have done so because of years of scrutiny. Rosemary’s Baby has survived what many call the test of time, with critics far more important than me believing it to be a masterpiece. yes, it’s Roman Polanski, but we’re just going to move past that. I never feel inclined to admit that I love all films predetermined as … Continue reading Rosemary’s Baby

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The Mist

John Stark

Where I Watched It: Netflix Audio Description By: Zoo Digital Narrated By: Tanzi Alexander Yes, this is my first time viewing The mist. i was working in movie theatres at the time, and I could have easily seen this for free, but somehow or for some reason, I skipped over it. I believe it had a lot to do with the massive amount of product released around the holiday season, as I don’t remember this sticking around very long. Nonetheless, after sitting through some rather disturbing sounding sequences, I think if I had seen this creature feature, my mind would … Continue reading The Mist

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Chinatown

John Stark

Where i Watched it: HBo MAX English Audio Description Available?: Not On HBo MAX So, yes, this was an experience. Sometimes, I find a film that I have to track audio description down for, but for Chinatown, this time I basically rigged an experience similar to that of what Spectrum Access provides. I watched this with someone who could see, and I had headphones on playing the audio track at the same time. Timing was nuts, but I got it eventually. It is my first time through Chinatown, and I think my interest peaked because of the Offer. That led … Continue reading Chinatown

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Crimson Peak

John Stark

Where I Watched It: Netflix Audio Description Provided by: The Media Access Group Narrated By: Adrienne Barbeaux Even though I skipped this in theatres, i always knew at some point I would have to watch this film. i got there eventually, and despite being a Guillermo Del Toro fan, this is possibly my least favorite project of his. Don’t get me wrong. I’m sure the film is gorgeous. Guillermo I always on point visually, and based on the exceptional description by Adrienne Barbeaux and her team at the Media Access Group, a very vivid and lush painting is laid out … Continue reading Crimson Peak

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Speed

John Stark

Where I Watched it: Amazon English Audio Description?: Yes Somewhere out there, I’m being judged because people keep clicking on reviews of films I hadn’t seen already, and just now feel like getting around to. This is not that. It’s close, but not really. My history with Speed is less complicated. I wasn’t old enough at the time to see an R rated film on my own, but luckily for me, back in the 90’s, big films like this always made themselves onto TV for their big network premiere a year or two later. However, in the case of Speed, … Continue reading Speed

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Orphan First Kill

John Stark

Where I Watched it: Paramount Plus English Audio Description?: Yes Critic’s Note: orphan First Kill was also a day and date theatrical, so it’s possible the audio description is the same, but i cannot confirm. 2nd Editor’s Note: This review will be written as if you have seen Orphan (the 2008 film), or are at least aware of how it ends. Man, two special notes before I even begin to review. That’s special. I first learned this movie existed just days before it was released, and my first thought was why are we getting a prequel 14 years later? Is … Continue reading Orphan First Kill

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Look Both Ways

John Stark

Where I Watched It: Netflix English Audio Description Available?: Yes Netflix has vomited out another cheap film they do not care if anyone likes. However, they do hope you are a fan of Riverdale, otherwise, much like Sofia Carson anchoring Purple Hearts, this film is aimed very directly at the same age range with its casting of Lily Reinhardt than likely you’ll pass this over. But not me. not the critics. We review shit like this. truthfully, it’s average, to slightly below average. It’s not really a god awful film, it just rolls in mediocrity, and the idea that many … Continue reading Look Both Ways

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Two Days In The Valley

John Stark

This Film Was Available In July on Amazon when I watched it, but I do not believe it is there anymore. I’m quite late on this review. Yes, there is a recorded audio description track for this, if it ever comes back around. Truthfully, I’m a few weeks out from having reviewed this. Sometimes, I review older titles and sit on the video review of them so when i don’t have a newer film to review, i can push out something I saw a few weeks ago. Now, I’m realizing that with this film, once again… I’m having difficulty describing … Continue reading Two Days In The Valley

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Lucy and Desi

John Stark

Where I Watched it: Amazon English Audio Description?: Yes Admittedly I’m a bit behind on this documentary, which was better timed closer to the release of Being the Ricardos, back in January on Amazon. It’s a love letter from director Amy Poehler toward someone who obviously influenced a lot of her career, even though they never had the opportunity to meet or work together. It does feature quite a bit of interviews with Lucy and Desi’s kids, and functions as a nice overview for everyone to watch that shows those younger kids who may not know why these two were … Continue reading Lucy and Desi

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The Black Phone

John Stark

Where i Watched it: Peacock English Audio Description?: Yes Horror is not my genre. It’s not that I haven’t seen a ton of horror films, I just do not enjoy films set up entirely for gore that have no plot, and I also feel the genre is flooded with films by hack directors that rely only on cheap jump scares in films with little to no structure or plot. Gore for gore’s sake, that’s a pass for me. Give me a good plot, give me a building story arc, give me characters to be invested in, and stop with the … Continue reading The Black Phone

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Everything, Everywhere, All At once

John Stark

Where I Watched it: VOD English Audio Description?: Yes Narrated By: Laura Post You have to be careful when reviewing an A24 film. There’s a devoted army of fans now. Luckily for them, and myself, I thought this film kicked ass. You might have heard of this little film that could, as it started in limited release, and now has over 100M worldwide gross, and is considered a solid contender for the Oscars. That’s right, the mother flipping Oscars. How did a film that managed to get the kid from indiana Jones back on the big screen find a harem … Continue reading Everything, Everywhere, All At once