Furious 7

Starring: Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez, Tyrese Gibson, Ludacris, Jason Statham, Dwayne Johnson, Kurt Russell, Jordanna Brewster, Lucas Black, Nathalie Emmanuel, Elsa Pataky, Tony Jaa, Djimon Hounsou, Ronda Rousey
Directed By: James Wan

I actually watched this a while ago, and I just never got around to reviewing it immediately. It’s not that Furious 7 is a bad movie, I think I was just so angry at the pandering end of the movie where we watch Not Paul Walker play with his kid on a beach. Sorry for the spoiler, but did you really think they’d kill off Paul Walker? If there was an asteroid that hit earth, and killed everyone… Paul Walker’s character would have driven a car off Earth and survived.

The film itself is a bit sappier than usual. If you took a shot every time the word “family” was used, you’d be blackout drunk before the credits. Easily. The problem with adding sap is that the Furious 7 cast is largely comprised of awful actors. Asking Tyrese to find emotion is like asking a small child to contain himself inside of a Toys R Us. It just cannot happen. Diesel has gotten better with emoting over the years, but the rest of the cast just looks constipated or confused.

There’s also a random sideplot where Djimon Hounsou is trying to get something called God’s Eye, and Kurt Russell works for the US Government and hires Vin Diesel (yes, the guy who beat a man with a tire iron in the first film and served time in jail) and his ragtag team of misfits to counteract Hounsou and Tony Jaa. Is there no one else? What particular training does Dom now possess other than being an above average driver that would lead the government to hire him?

I enjoyed the movie, for the most part, while watching it. It’s full of just absolutely mindblowing stunts. Like, stunts that can’t ever happen in real life but look really cool on the big screen type stunts. It’s bogged down by loads of sap though. Not just with Walker, but with Rodriguez’s Letty who is struggling to regain her memory. Lucas Black is sadly misused in only a tiny fraction of the movie, and Worst Actress Of The Year Ronda Rousey pops up inexplicably in a single fight sequence. Maybe with her, less is more.

I know I’m ripping into the film a bit, but I did have fun. It’s a step backward from Fast and Furious 6, and Fast Five, and potentially even the first Fast film. Hopefully 8Fast8Furious (or whatever they call it) will restore the fun and not expect Oscar caliber performances from its stretched thin cast.


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