Star Wars Episode II: Attack Of The Clones

Starring: Hayden Christensen, Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman, Samuel L Jackson, Christopher Lee, Ian McDiarmid, Jack Thompson, Rose Byrne, Joel Edgerton
Directed By: George Lucas

I honestly remember hating this the first time I saw it. I’ve always deemed it “the worst” of the six Star Wars films. Now having seen it for a second time, directly after viewing The Phantom Menace, I can honestly say I don’t believe it to be necessarily any worse than Phantom Menace. There are different pros and cons here, and while one of the cons is distractingly bad, there actually seems to be more good than bad. Just one really bad Hayden Christensen.

Seriously though, Hayden is awful. Like, holy shit awful. It’s like he was plucked off the street and had never even read a script before. He’s worse than Jake Lloyd was. To counterbalance him though, I feel like Ewan McGregor stepped up his game this film, and even Natalie Portman is trying to emote more. I also was shocked to see both Rose Byrne and Joel Edgerton “pre-fame” in this. I had no idea they were in this, but each have small supporting roles.

The special effects got better, and are less distracting. Phantom Menace looked dated, but Attack of the Clones looks less dated, even though it came out only three years later. It’s still 15 years old, but at least it doesn’t look like a PS2 title.

Aside from Hayden and the films inability to write dialogue between Padme and Anakin that doesn’t sound like it was ripped from a random Nicholas Sparks novel, I enjoyed my second viewing of Clones. I’m taking this film off my shit list, because I feel about how I felt about Phantom Menace when I was done. Maybe even a little better? If this film had just picked someone other than Hayden Christensen, I’d put this in the B range.

FINAL GRADE: C+

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