Where I Watched it: Netflix
Audio Description Written and Narrated By Liz Gutman
I refuse. I refuse to seriously review this film. Don’t worry, that doesn’t necessarily mean I’m firebombing this down to an F grade, I’m not here to rain on your parade entirely.
There’s just o point to reviewing this film. They don’t care. They don’t want reviews. There was no thought put into this film. I’m convinced this film was created by an algorithm. I’ve heard there was a book, but whoever got paid to write this book, got paid too much.
Love and Gelato is almost the Scary Movie equivalent of a long dead beaten horse in Hollywood where we send some white American female over to Europe to “find herself”, but really she just ends up finding a dick. Offended? you should be.
From the people who bothered, nay dared, to give you Eat Pray Love, Letters To Juliet, Leap year, PS I Love You, When in Rome, My Life In Ruins, The Holiday, Emily In Paris, under The Tuscan Sun, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, Monte Cristo, Forget Paris, and every single film where a white lady always needs to find herself for some generic reason, or embark on some quest, but really gives up halfway through because this European gent (usually Italian, Greek, French, British, or possibly Spanish) makes her question everything she knows. After all, the country is so beautiful, and so is the food. Almost always these guys can cook. And, they never have cars. They always have motorbikes or vespas.
This film is no different. Main girl is given a “to do list” by her dead mother in a letter, so she heads to Europe as her mother wishes for her to find herself before college. of course, she almost instantly finds a cute guy (who is taken, just like in Netflix’s popular Emily In Paris) and who yearns of being a chef (just like that guy in Emily In Paris), and seeks to uncover the truths of love and gelato.
This might as well have just been a fucking Emily In Paris film, because it doesn’t care about being original, or following a different path. Hell, she could sleep her way across Europe. At least that would be a change, instead of falling for the first guy with an accent that pays her attention.
But nope. This is an algorithm film churned out by Netflix, because we watched all that other crap. Hell, we watched Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy walk around for THREE movies. We must love this genre, right? They didn’t even bother to pay a cast you’d recognize. Not even someone remotely marketable, like Vanessa Hudgens or something. I don’t know anyone in this cast, so it was cast on a budget, and put out there knowing that women with Netflix accounts would give it a click.
The worst part? It’s so formulaic, to a fault, that it actually isn’t a terrible film. it is just like all the others. it’s totally unoriginal, but just like following a recipe in a mass marketed cookbook by a celebrity chef, if you do it right, the food should taste good. Here, the gelato is fine.
The Blind Perspective: Liz did a great job writing and narrating her own work. I’m sure Netflix was trying to cut costs. Just like they did with the cast. She probably edited and mixed the damn thing too.
Final Thoughts: I’m not giving this a terrible grade, but if we keep clicking on this crap, Netflix will keep churning out soulless facsimiles assuming you’re brain dead. Personally, I’d like them to at least just try. Try to bring something different or new to this genre. Next time, can she not be white? I’m pretty sure there are plenty of other actresses who would love to get their groove on in Europe if Netflix would just fund it.
Final Grade: C+