Where You Could Watch it: Showtime

English Audio Description Available?: Yes, but not on Showtime.

I didn’t ever think that I would want to see Barb Wire. I figured that time had left it behind, and I wasn’t missing anything. Then Hulu had to go and make Pam and Tommy, and there was all this focus on Barb Wire and how Pamela Anderson thought it would launch her career, and it didn’t. So it made me curious. Then I noticed it on Showtime, so I did my “find this on the internet” thing since Showtime ignores accessibility for the moment, and I found a version I could listen to.

first, I think Pamela Anderson would have been better than Heather Graham. Just saying. Mike Myers should have gone that route.

As far as Barb Wire, it’s a terrible movie, but it reaches such level of camp that it bounces back and becomes oddly entertaining. It’s a similar feel I have to Howard The Duck. In no way is that actually a good movie, but it’s a “so bad it’s good” film that entertains the shit out of you. Barb Wire has that effect to it. it actually makes so little sense, and Pam attacks every line like she woke up on the wrong side of the bed, it makes for this perfect marriage that is hilarious.

There was this fat guy who betrays Barb, who hangs out by sitting in like the dumpster end of this vehicle, and he gets blown the hell up in such a cheesy fashion, it was great. I love, as a blind guy, the blind character. He went into a room where everyone was dead, and then I was wondering, what if that was me? Would I know everyone was dead?

I really don’t know if watching this film on release would ahve given me the same effect. Sometimes, it takes years to realize how much campy gold something is, and Bar Wire manages that. It’s been so long, and this film is so quintessentially 80’s, yet trapped in the 90’s when it was released, that it makes for this very odd clash. in the 80’s, we made a ton of films about hot babes. Just look at Weird Science. I also think Barb Wire is a spiritual cousin to Barberella. So, its 1996 release date is kind of odd.

Nevertheless, if you’re looking for a goofy nonsensical action science fiction laugh riot, barb Wire might do the trick. And, truthfully, Anderson does very little to impact that. This film would be terrible with anyone in that role. The film itself is just terrible, she just got stuck in it. She somehow makes it a spectacle at least.

The Blind Perspective: If you watch without the audio description, you miss all the soft core porn moments where Pam takes off her clothes and showers, or whatever. Not that nudity is actually ever a reason to see a film, but in this case, it’s put in so frequently that it adds to the humor of the film.

Final Thoughts: You have to understand, technically this film hit F grade level, but became so entertaining in my opinion, it rebounded. It’s still bad, but I wouldn’t mind sitting through this again for some good laughs. Some films are unwatchable bad. This… was fun.

Final Grade: C-