Where I Watched It: Netflix

English Audio Description Available?: no

one of those rare times Netflix let me down. A quick search for this title found audio description available should someone want to rent this on a VOD service, which means Netflix just couldn’t be bothered. Which for them is rare, so I had to call and let them know to please add the audio description track. However, I don’t know that they ever will, so I had to review the film as is.

To be honest, I had no desire to see a RIPD sequel.Even if this film was a direct sequel featuring the original stars, i would have been just as unhappy about this films existence. When we have so many movies that could be made, or another season of a solid TV show, and we give a budget to a sequel to a film that came out years ago and the universe pretty unanimously agreed wasn’t good, I kind of wonder… did I even need to review this?

The answer, because apparently we are all children who enjoy shiny objects, is yes. This damn thing was in the Top 10 on Netflix when I reviewed it. If it has that much interest, it must be stopped.

look, this is a film that cares not. No fucks were given in the making of this film. They replaced Jeff Bridges with Jeffrey Donovan, who is the biggest name in this film. Donovan is nothing like Bridges, and considering how old Bridges was in the original, why cast someone younger? Dead people don’t age. Why is his ghost aging? That’s what happens when you don’t pay attention. You create a paradox in a stupid franchise. God, this thing is a franchise now. in a year that saw sequels to Eraser and 47 Ronin, this one has to be the one no one asked for.

How funny is it? Well, the biggest gag here involves sending Donovan and his partner back as black women… in the Wild West. So, once you’ve gotten that chuckle out of the way, the rest of the film is just a weird shitty western with some elements I can’t describe because there was no audio description. So every Dead-O that transforms, i got nothing. And this plot revolving around unleashing hell on earth, is just some nonsense used a thousand times before.

You shouldn’t need me or any critic to tell you that a sequel to RIPD is hot garbage. But, this is. It’s also, not the worst film of the year, and is somehow slightly better than Eraser Reborn, only because this one doesn’t take itself seriously.It’s not 100% unwatchable like how hulu expects us to watch Crimes Of The Future without audio description. THAT is unwatchable for a blind audience without audio description. This is just not the best choice, because there are multiple fight sequences I had no ability to follow. There are demons or whatever in here I have no idea what they look like. Sadly, this film has a chunk of it, and it’s kind of a big chunk, that is unwatchable. Sure, there are some dialogue heavy scenes, so you can pick up on the story, but the jokes aren’t funny.

Unsurprisingly, I’d say pass on this one, with or without audio description. With, you just get a sequel you don’t need that’s actually a prequel, and without you get a film full of things not from this world and fight sequences that just are sound effects.

Final Grade: D

Oh, and whoever thought Jeffrey Donovan was Jeff Bridges shouldn’t be a casting director. You know, I enjoy Snoop Dogg from time to time, but I’m not going to have him follow Denzel.