www.apple.com/accessibility/designed-for-students/

Because, why not? Apparently this ad has created a conversation piece in the disability community. I can’t speak to or for every disability, but I can speak toward the audio description, which in its effort to include all in all its inclusive glory misses the access point by a half mile. I say a half mile, because half of the thing is described. For whatever reason, despite there being no actual dialogue in this circle jerk, the audio description decides there are times when things are happening… but we just don’t need to know about them.

Isn’t that the problem so many times in how we get accessibility? First, we have to be granted it, like we’ve been given permission to have access. Apple wants us to celebrate its forward momentum in terms of accessibility by having us rock out to an anthem that is… odd. I’m not exceptional? I mean, I get what the song wants to say, “I’m just like you.”, but there are non-disabled individuals who are exceptional. It’s just so many times a negative connotation comes from calling someone with disabilities “special” that we’ve decided to reframe the conversation, I guess, in an anthem about how decidedly average we really are.

So, the only thing I can think of, is that someone thought this was an important song, and decided we only needed half the description so we could, in turn, hear the song better? Or, we could just strive for a better mix, and give us as much description as possible. There’s clearly a sequence in a gymnasium, with people’s sneakers squeaking. The audio description never mentions it, or gives us a visual cue. It still picks and chooses, and still participates in this parsing out of knowledge we’re allowed to have. Perhaps, for an education centric pat on the back, an education minded AD team could have dissected this, realizing if this was school, and the description left us this lacking, we probably might miss a few questions on the quiz. What are we really doing here? Are we celebrating accessibility, disabled people, or the song?

If we’re celebrating disabled people, then perhaps a one size fits all ad isn’t the way to go, but rather a slate of shorts designed to show how people living with various disabilities can use the array of Apple products with all their cool new tricks. For example, I wanted to know more about how my phone knows which hallway I’m in, and less about that I can use a Mac with my toes. not that it isn’t super cool you can do that, but if you want to sell me, a blind person, on accessibility, a deep dive is more likely to win me over as I weigh using Apple versus competitors. Same would go for, I imagine, other disability subsets. Just like it is broken down in our accessibility menu. Are there overlaps? Absolutely. Which is why you might still offer audio description and captioning on all videos.

But it is a broad stroke, and the overall decision to give the song some time in the sun is unnecessary. What did I have to miss in order to learn I can’t be exceptional anymore because that word now means something totally different to me. I’m normal just like you, but if I was normal, I could be exceptional, because then the word wouldn’t have a negative connotation behind it. I’d be like LeBron James, or whoever just won that last reality show you were watching.

Instead, I’m focused on the fact that, once again, someone else made a decision about what I get to know about. What has been deemed important to translate to me through audio description, and this time, I can’t give them a pass because there wasn’t enough time. there is a ton of time here. Ample time.

I’m sure others have thoughts, and they might have different problems. As a film critic, I ahve to deal with Apple’s delivery method for their screeners, which is hilariously poorly designed. Most of the time, I don’t bother, because it is hard to use, because presumably no one in the media uses narrator or needs audio description. I love Apple. I prefer Apple accessibility to Android, but as it is with everything, it always seems like we should be happy we get to go halfway down the road. But, if the normies are at the other end of the road, then isn’t there still a wide gap to be closed? Instead of being good enough, or better than we were, or your competitors, shouldn’t you strive for excellence in every endeavor?

I wasn’t going to do this, because I don’t usually do ads, but this last iOS update for my iPhone 12 is hilariously terrible.On my lock screen, if I clear the first push notification, it makes all others after it untouchable. I feel like simply testing the lock screen would have happened if a blind person had done a bug run on the update before sending it out. I’m not sure how many people who need accessibility are involved in the process of creating it at Apple, but between a buggy iOS update and this ad, I’m beginning to wonder if there’s anyone in the room at all.

After all, isn’t running away from DEI now what the cool kids do? So even though it would make sense, perhaps disabled people aren’t in the rooms anymore, because of the perception of DEI? It’s not as crazy as it sounds, considering Tim Cook donated to the man who turned the world against DEI.

So perhaps, we should be used to selective description, and the accessibility we get, especially from companies like Apple. Perhaps, striving for mediocrity is our anthem, not necessarily because we are so decidedly average, but because the focus to push our accessibility further, where it has yet to go, doesn’t quite have the same bite it did before November 2024.

I’m not exceptional, and neither is the audio description for this commercial.