Category: Movie Review

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Hellraiser (2022)

John Stark

Where I Watched It: Hulu Audio Description Provided By: Deluxe Narrated By: William Michael Redmond I’ve never seen any of the previous Hellraiser films, so my review is I guess representational of that really tiny percentage of blind individuals who are interested in this without ever having seen any of the previous 10 entries in this series. Though Amazon has really been pushing the original on me, but sadly it does not have audio description, and having seen the remake, this is a series that needs audio description for any blind or visually impaired viewers to have a chance in … Continue reading Hellraiser (2022)

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Eraser Reborn

John Stark

Where I Watched It: HBo MAX English Audio Description?: No No, sadly there is no audio description for the long awaited Eraser sequel, 26 years in the making. Sequel is also the wrong word. It’s basically a remake, hitting all of the same plot points as the original, just doing so with a cast full of people you’ll never see or hear from again. Arnold Schwarzenegger got swapped out for someone who is so totally devoid of personality I don’t even want to repeat his name, for that might cause him to get cast again, and I’d rather he and … Continue reading Eraser Reborn

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The Bye Bye Man

John Stark

Where I Watched it: Netflix English Audio Description Provided By: Deluxe Narrated By: Ron Snow You may ask yourself why at this point in time am I reviewing the maligned horror film The Bye Bye Man, and my answer to that simply is… because it has audio description. Look, I’m trying to review numerous titles across different streaming services to give people chilling options, and they won’t all be winners. And, frequently I don’t always agree with the horde of Tomatometer or Metacritics. While I wouldn’t say I liked either film, as examples, I thought Truth Or Dare and Choose … Continue reading The Bye Bye Man

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The Conjuring: the Devil Made Me Do it

John Stark

Where I Watched It: HBo MAX English Audio Description?: Yes Narrated By: Tanzi Alexander Well, this series takes a sharp decline fast. This one does not care about building any kind of suspense. I’m not even sure it sets up a potential spin-off character like the Nun or Annabelle. it just kind of prolongs the franchise, and makes a cash grab. True, the second and third entries have better audio description, because this actually understands it’s a horror film and tries to translate what is scary about something into the description. It’s just, i didn’t find this film Scary. We … Continue reading The Conjuring: the Devil Made Me Do it

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DC League Of Superpets

John Stark

Where I Watched It: HBo MAX Audio Description Provided By: Deluxe Narrated By: KG Tang Considering the fact that DC’s universe is best represented on the work they put on streaming services and even Arrowverse, it seemed rather sketchy that something about Krypto and some shelter pets fighting crime would work. Are we at a point where Krypto warrants a theatrical release? I mean, this is the same studio that bothered to shoot a Batgirl movie just to keep it locked away at Area 51. I always try to enter every single movie open minded, and this one exceeded my … Continue reading DC League Of Superpets

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Blair Witch

John Stark

Where I Watched It: Netflix Audio Description Provided by: Deluxe Narrated By: William michael Redmond Despite my film degree coming from the same school that the fellas who made The Blair Witch project hail from, I haven’t liked a single film in this franchise. This remake/sequel didn’t do anything to change that. The original, which caused motion sickness and a wave of found footage films, was all the rage back in the day. but there’s only just so much you can do with piles of rocks and some sticks to make this actually scary. The sequel was a mess, which … Continue reading Blair Witch

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Minions: The Rise Of GRU

John Stark

Where I Watched It: Peacock English Audio Description?: Yes Sadly, Peacock doesn’t want you to watch credits. I was really hopeful that I would get to the audio description info since the Minions were dancing through part of the credits, but as soon as that was over, I got ripped into something else. My rankings, not including this, are: Despicable Me, Despicable me 2, Minions, Despicable Me 3. in many ways, this film is more of a Despicable Me film, a prequel of sorts, than a true Minions spinoff. While it does feature the minions in their antics, they are … Continue reading Minions: The Rise Of GRU

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Let Me in

John Stark

Where I Watched It: Netflix Audio Description Provided By: Zoo Digital Written By: John Gray Narrated By: Roy Samuelson Admittedly, I could have seen this film visually. I remember critics enjoyed it, and Matt Reeves is a very talented director who has given us several amazing films, including The Batman earlier this year. But, I passed on this, not because I passed on gore, but because the original, the foreign language Let The Right One in, is perfect, and actually my favorite foreign language title of all time. I didn’t need a remake. If Martin Scorsese remade The Godfather, I’m … Continue reading Let Me in

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Hot Take: The johnny Depp/Amber Heard Trial

John Stark

Where I Watched This: Tubi English Audio Description?: No. Tubi doesn’t love us. When i saw this listed casually among new releases, like it wanted to be considered against things like hocus Pocus 2, I figured Tubi knew what they were doing, and jumped on this train to try and… No. That’s bullshit. I clicked on this film figuring it would be trashy garbage. There isn’t a single person on the cast list I’m even remotely familiar with, and all of them could use acting lessons. The most painful aspect wasn’t the lack of audio description, it was this guy … Continue reading Hot Take: The johnny Depp/Amber Heard Trial

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My Best Friend’s Exorcism

John Stark

Where I Watched it: Amazon English Audio Description Available?: Yes I had no idea this was an adaptation until I watched a review from another critic I subscribe to, and he addressed a lot about how faithful it was and all that. look, i didn’t read the book. I didn’t even know there was one, so if you’ve come here for that level of enlightenment, I can’t give that to you. Not that it really matters, because if this was a faithful adaptation, then your book sucks. This film, directed by Damon Thomas, quite frankly has no identity. It has … Continue reading My Best Friend’s Exorcism

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The Conjuring 2

John Stark

Where I Watched It: HBo MAX Audio Description Provided By: Deluxe Narrated By: Tanzi Alexander Well, I’m making my way through this franchise. Finally. Halloween gives me the opportunity to catch up on horror titles i either avoided or missed. After being pleasantly surprised with the direction James Wan went with the first Conjuring film, I figured I was in store for more of the same. Not really. The first film worked so well because no one really knew what to be ready for, or what was ahead. He held the audiences anticipation, making you wait almost uncomfortably long for … Continue reading The Conjuring 2

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The Greatest Beer Run Ever

John Stark

Where I Watched It: Apple Plus Audio Description Provided by: PixelLogic Narrated By: laura Post Peter Farrelly is experiencing this moment where he can split from being a Farrelly Brother and show his range at dramatic interpretations of real life stories. Of course, he successfully landed in the history books when he directed Best Picture winner Green Book. Although that film faced a lot of backlash for it’s white savior story arc, I’m proudly reporting that we once again have a white savior.. he’s just not specifically trapped in a story about race. Zac Efron is that savior, a New … Continue reading The Greatest Beer Run Ever

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The Conjuring

John Stark

Where I Watched It: HBO MAX English Audio Description?: Yes When i set out to start some Halloween reviews, I landed on The Conjuring. Not only had the franchise become wildly successful, putting out two sequels (so far), but it spun off Annabelle (which also has two sequels), and The nun (which has a sequel on the way). I figured this would be a good start, especially considering its influence, and how many films have tried to recreate this magic since. Originally, I stayed away because I presumed the film was nothing but jump scares. James Wan (Saw) has never … Continue reading The Conjuring

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Hocus Pocus 2

John Stark

Where I Watched It: Disney Plus Audio Description Provided By: (If you managed to understand that, you should be a code breaker for the CIA) Written By: Lindsay West Narrated By: Laura Post This is one of those things that magically happens when fans will something into existence. It’s like Zack Snyder’s Justice League, but the Disney equivalent. People have loved the Sanderson sisters for the better part of almost 30 years, despite the box office failure of that film. It has thrived, and fans even got a Hocus Pocus themed addition to Mickey’s not So Scary Halloween a few … Continue reading Hocus Pocus 2

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Hocus Pocus

John Stark

Where I Watched It: Disney Plus Audio Description Provided By: Deluxe Narrated By: Laura Post We’ve got another winner here, a laura Post audio description on a Disney classic. I’ve really come to appreciate her voice on what seems like largely Disney fare, but certainly family friendly. I think if I were a parent watching films with my kids, or a sighted parent watching a film with a blind child, I would favor Laura Post as my narrator. She’s always delightful, charming, and has a quality that works very well for these films, and I can see why Disney keeps … Continue reading Hocus Pocus