Starring: Colin Farrell, Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Jessica Brown Findlay, William Hurt, Matt Bomer, Lucy Griffiths, Kevin Corrigan, Finn Wittrock, Norm Lewis, Kevin Durand, and Will Smith.

Directed By: Akiva Goldsmith

The directorial debut of Akiva Goldsmith is pretty awful. And actually, really silly. I don’t know how this was a hit book. I’m hoping it was just poorly adapted.

Winter’s Tale is about a man, who is a criminal (Farrell), who is being chased by a demon (Crowe), and falls in love with a girl who is dying (Findlay). Oh, he also has a horse. It’s a magical horse. It flies. Oh, and Will Smith plays Satan.

It’s horribly explained. Farrell’s character becomes immortal, and loses his memory, and finds himself with Jennifer Connelly, who reunites him with his memories. Crowe is still alive too.

Russell Crowe has attacked this role with such a ferociously bad accent that you might accidentally kill yourself. Just be careful. He’s like The Happening.

I don’t know why Will Smith is in this film. I don’t know why Russell Crowe was in this film. Or Farrell. Or anyone. I don’t know why this movie was made.

It’s the silliest film I’ve seen in a long time. It lacks any clear thought or direction, its filled with awful performances from great actors who either are incompetent or too bored to even try.

I suppose it’s not the worst film I’ve seen, I did make it all the way through. Part of me believes this is still better because even if these actors aren’t trying, they’re still worth watching even in awful movies.

I’m glad I didn’t see this in theatres.

FINAL GRADE: D