Gods Of Egypt

Starring: Brenton Thwaites, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Gerard Butler, Courtney Eaton, Rufus Sewell, Elodie Yung, Geoffrey Rush, Chadwick Boseman, Bryan Brown, Rachael Blake, Emma Booth
Directed By: Alex Proyas

Plot: A bunch of white people in Egypt worship gods. One of them, Bek (Thwaites) loves a girl (Eaton). There’s also Horus (Coster-Waldau), who is about to be crowned King, until his uncle (Butler) steps in. This leads to a plot for Bek to rescue his girl, with the help of Horus, who is looking to reclaim his throne. Chadwick Boseman is also in this, for inexplicable reasons.

What Works: Literally of the ENTIRE cast, the only person I would say did a good acting job is Coster-Waldau, He’s the only one not hamming it up, The costumes are kinda cool.

What Doesn’t Work: Literally everything else. The acting is awful. Boseman is terrible. I love him as an actor, but he’s awful in this. Thwaites is terrible. Butler is cheesy. Rush acts like he’s in a bad SyFy movie. It’s an abysmal waste of acting. Still, worse than the acting are the effects, which are just terrible. It might as well be a SyFy original. I’m amazed they spent more than 25M on this, tops. Any more spent was clearly on craft services. The screenplay isn’t too bad, plot wise, but the dialogue is terrible. All of this leads to incompetent direction from one of our more talented directors. Alex Proyas has proven himself before with The Crow, Dark City, and I Robot. Gods Of Egypt is the kind of mega-bomb that could be a career killer for him though. This could be his Cutthroat Island, or Rollerball. He’ll never get good offers after this. He’ll have to Shyamalan his way back, if he can.

Final Word: I’ve heard some critics claim this film is almost MST3K bad, but I think it’s just bad. Other than making fun of the effects, I wouldn’t get any pleasure from watching this again. It’s by far one of the worst films of the year, and one of the worst films ever made. I’m actually amazed I made it through till the end.

Final Grade: F

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