Star Wars Episode IX The Rise Of Skywalker

Starring: Daisy Ridley, john Boyega, Oscar issac, Adam Driver, Carrie Fisher, Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Billy Dee Williams, Anthony Daniels, Domnhall Gleeson, Lupita nyong’o, Richard E Grant, Naomi Aoki, Keri Russell, Kelly Marie Tran, Ian McDiarmid, and Billie Lourd.

Directed By: JJ Abrams

Where I Watched it: Disney Plus

English Audio Description Available?: Yes

Description Provided By: Deluxe

Narrated By: Martin Bellamy

The Plot: The stunning conclusion to the Star Wars franchise that pleased every single fan, and created absolutely no divisions at all. Everything was perfect, and the world celebrated. hooray!

So, I thought it might be interesting to go a different way with this. You can either assume every movie starts at zero, and has to build to a high score, or you start at 100, and take away. i like to do the latter. So here’s a running tally of things I liked and didn’t like, with an arbitrary amount of points taken away or given.

Starting Out At 100.

The film clearly abandons Rose as a character after thrusting her upon us in The Last Jedi. They think they can replicate how they handled the backlash to Jar jar Binks by limiting her screen time, but it’s a cop out for just writing her better. Subtract 1 point. New Total: 99.

It’s cool to see Rey heal Kylo, and it’s kind of emotional. She’s rising above, and proving that there is true goodness in her. However, having them kiss, and later giving Kylo the power to resurrect her from the dead… ruined this experience. Subtract 5. New Score: 94

Making Rey the daughter of Palpatine kills the storyline that anyone could be a jedi, something I enjoyed in The Force Awakens when Rey wasn’t tied to anyone. We constantly see other Jedi that aren’t related to a major character, but they always seem to die quickly. It would have been nice to start a new lineage. Subtract 5 points. New score: 89.

So, Luke can just teleport? He doesn’t just commit jedi suicide, he just teleports? I don’t understand this plot element. Subtract 1. New score: 88.

I’m still not convinced this franchise has any idea what to do with Finn. Subtract 1. New Score: 87.

So, is Ben in Jedi heaven like Anakin was in Episode 6? That was ambiguous AF. Subtract 1. New score- 86.

Film doesn’t have the balls to kill of Chewbacca. Subtract 5. New Score: 81.

Film adds a lot of new characters for a final chapter. how are we supposed to care about all of them? Subtract 1- New Score: 80.

However, Leia’s final moments were impactful. Add 2 points. New Score: 82

And Han Solo’s return, with the callback to Kylo’s line about not having the strength to do what he needs to do. Add 2 points. New Score: 84.

Lando. And he’s actually given something to do. Add 1 point. New score: 85.

Poe Dameron. is always amazing. Add 3 points. New Score: 88

Rey was pretty great too. Add two points. New Score: 90

But, the final scene feels a bit too much like Return of the King… subtract 1 point. New Score: 89.

And, Rey could have picked any name. I know the film is called rise of Skywalker, but Luke barely offered to train her, she has almost no contact with Leia. She spent far more time with Han, and seemed to be emotionally invested in Ben. Shouldn’t she be Rey Solo? Subtract 1 point. New Score: 88.

And that’s the kind of silly stuff I go through in my head when coming up with a grade. It’s nonsense. Star Wars fans were never going to be happy with the finale to the franchise.

The Blind Perspective: The narration still does a great job describing the fight sequences, the alien races, and the new characters (who are almost all human and easy to describe).

Final Thoughts: I’m just glad to be done with this marathon. Exhausted, am I.

Final Grade: B+

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