Where I Watched it: Netflix

English Audio Description Available?: Yes

You get nothing from me. You came here expecting some deep critical treatise on this work, and you’re not going to get it. I’m not Gene Siskel, Rotten Tomatoes refuses to acknowledge my existence, so the rules don’t apply to me. I can review films however I want, something you should have picked up on by now.

truth is, the less you know about Girl in The Picture, the better. So, watch it before someone spoils it for you. It will enrage you. It will dumbfound and astonish you. You will find yourself every few minutes just audibly reacting to the insanity of this story. I ahve to hand it to these filmmakers. They’ve made a documentary that is super memorable in the same way everyone lost their shit over Making A Murderer, but it has zero chance of winding up with an Oscar nomination.

Which is kind of sad, because I will absolutely remember this a lot longer than I will some previously nominated titles like Ascension. It’s the kind of film you can’t erase from your brain, because this is like a highlander documentary. there can ever only be one. This story is so insane, it can’t be replicated. And I hope, no one replicates it. I know we are trying to make everything ever into a limited series now, but let’s refrain from adapting this, please?

Just watch this damn thing. Sooner rather than later. If you don’t, someone is likely going to want to talk to you about it, because we likely all need therapy after this.

The Blind Perspective: While the credits gave no recognition to the work done by the narration team, whoever was reading the narration had a super creepy voice and it was great. It added so much to the film. I know Jason Blum thought he was a badass by picking up Our Father and releasing it under the Blumhouse banner. He should have picked this up, because this is like 10,000 times creepier. It’s like the extended episode of an unsolved Mystery, and the narrator will give you that extra special spine tingle.

Final Thoughts: Easily my favorite documentary of the year. perhaps not the best, in the true sense of what a documentary typically is, but it is so effective, and will give you the heebie jeebies for days.

Final Grade: A