House Party (2023)

Where I Watched It: HBo MAX

English audio Description Provided By: Deluxe

Narrated By: Michelle.

I have no prior knowledge of anything that happened in the house Party universe. Sadly, the Kid N Play early 90’s version is a bit out of the range of things I would have seen, as I was still very much into cartoons at that time. I’m still into cartoons, but I now watch other things.

Jacob Latimore is stuck in this reboot that no one asked for, and makes very little sense. Basically, there are two friends, one of whom has access to Lebron James’s house, where they decide to throw the titular event to raise money for one of their kids. Jacob Latimore is infinitely better than this film.

The problems with this lie in the fact that we spend a lifetime getting to the party, which isn’t very fun. Once at the party, the need to leave the party to go raid the Illuminati takes our leads and focus away from the party. It’s like this film wants to do everything but an actual House Party.

i did not think I would see someone get decapitated in this film. That was a fun audio description moment. The cameos just fly at you. Lots of NBA players, Hip Hop Artists, Mark Cuban, and of course, I won’t spoil for you, but you know who they got to pop up and make an appearance, right? I mean, think of what you’re watching. Which cameo makes the most sense?

Unlike a film like project X, which was almost entirely a party, and got to the party a lot faster, House Party takes a long time to get there. You’d be surprised at how unnecessarily long this film is. We’ve gotta fit in jokes about the stupid white guy neighbor who owns a koala and supports Black Lives Matter enough to put two squares on his social. Gotta fit in these sweet sweet jokes.

Some of it isn’t terrible, but I have a feeling the original thing was so much better. Like, if they remade Friday, and they put Jordan Fischer in as the lead… and spent the whole movie on a Thursday, that’s what you’d get here. Same effect.

The audio description is good at just telling you who the cameos are instead of trying to make you guess. no Rescue Rangers shit here. They want you to know they got Snoop Dogg,. They paid him to show up, and you’re gonna hear about it.

I can see why this quietly died in theatres before hitting streaming. I can’t imagine anyone wanted this. i was willing to give it a chance, but…

Final Grade: C-

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