Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: once and Always

Where I Watched It: Netflix

English Audio Description?: Yes

Written By: Andrew piper

So I heard Netflix was working on some Power Ranger thing. I didn’t know what that meant, and I don’t know what to tell you. I feel like I fever dreamed this and it isn’t real. I think someone Micro dosed me and I imagined this. There is no grade for this film. Much like how there’s a multiverse we talk about in films, I believe this film comes from a world where the grading scale has been elevated to emojis. Nothing makes sense. up is down. Down is up.

Inexplicably, this films primary function is to kill off Trini. Mind you, the original Ranger has been actually dead since the 90’s. The actress who played her died in a car accident, which is why in the movie we were quickly introduced to Aisha. And, since that time, we’ve also lost Jason David Frank, and Amy jo johnson had better things to do.

So this film features as many grown up Power Rangers coming back in some bizarre plot that involves Trini dying, and them all rallying around her daughter. It’s almost like they all acknowledge that the Power Rangers went about their normal lives, had families, sex, jobs, and all of that, and yet still came back when it was Morphin time.

This film isn’t even really a film. It doesn’t break an hour, it falls just short. It tries to piece things together, and for those craving any form of nostalgia, just seeing all these OG’s back in their suits will be enough.

Admittedly, I think the audio description was trying to describe the incomprehensible. Even now, i find myself struggling to explain this film. It quite unapologetically just throws shit at you, and makes you accept it. it has no desire or worry about whether you find it to be coherent or not. It doesn’t care. There’s a pink ranger. It’s not Kimberly. Who is it? Who gives a fuck. Stop asking questions.

I never thought the mindfuck of 2023 would be a Power Rangers film, but it is. If yu are the type to blaze on sometimes before a film, this would be the film to do it. Hell, Netflix should mail everyone a weed gummy for this very reason.

An absurd film that defies being able to be rated alongside anything else.

Final Grade: Eggplant Emoji

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