Category: Movie Review

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Breaking

John Stark

Where I Watched It: iTunes English Audio Description Provided By: Pixel logic Narrated By: Darren polish If you missed this in theatres, or if you didn’t even know this was a thing, you are forgiven. The marketing was not very strong on this one. I think I saw one review in my YouTube feed from the 40-ish YouTube critics I subscribe to, and I think I only really registered that this film might be worthwhile when I saw Michael Kenneth Williams in the supporting cast, and that this might be his last film. Honestly, it’s just your average bank robbery … Continue reading Breaking

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The Fablemans

John Stark

Where I Watched It: In Theatres English Audio Description Available?: Yes Probably one of my most anticipated titles of 2022, because it’s hard to turn your nose up at a semi-autobiographical story from one of the greatest living directors. If Steven Spielberg wants to impart his knowledge on me, about how he fell in love with cinema, who am I to argue with him? I’m not going to be the guy who says i love every single thing this man does. Off the top of my head, I’m not a fan of Munich. But last year, my pick for Best … Continue reading The Fablemans

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Murder At Yellowstone City

John Stark

Where I Watched It: AMC Plus English Audio Description?: no I do still watch AMC Plus films and shows from time to time, because I have a subscription. I have a subscription they actually gave me, knowing I was blind, to explore the service. They have almost no audio description, but in my initial conversations with their customer service reps, I was told they were expanding their audio description offerings, and would be revamping the app to make it work better with screen readers. Neither of those things have happened. Their big new movie releases seem to always lack audio … Continue reading Murder At Yellowstone City

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Matilda The musical

John Stark

Where I Watched It: Netflix English Audio Description Provided By International Digital Center Written By: Betty Capone My fondness for Roald Dahl material is fuzzy for me. I can’t actually remember reading any of his works as a child, though I can’t actually remember reading much of the stufff I read in Elementary school. It’s like all those books just flew out the window. I know I read everything from Beverly Cleary to Goosebumps, and somewhere in there I’m sure was at least a Roald Dahl book. Was it Matilda? Perhaps. But at the cinema, his work has allowed for … Continue reading Matilda The musical

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Good Night Oppy

John Stark

Where I Watched It: Amazon English Audio Description?: Yes Sometimes, it can be extremely rewarding to pick a film to watch even if you don’t care about it. Even if the subject matter just pulls this extreme indifference out of you. Every once in a while, these movies surprise you. I’m someone whose tastes are all over the place. I’ll champion a tiny Sundance indie that no one saw, then be amazed by a comic book adaptation, and laugh through a generic romcom. But when it comes to documentaries, some of them are just slow, boring, and I couldn’t care … Continue reading Good Night Oppy

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Glass Onion

John Stark

Where I Watched it: Netflix Audio Description Provided By: International Digital Center Written by: Steven Christopher Narrated By: Jamie Lemcheck A few years back, Knives Out was all the rage and the hotness among film twitter. it had Oscar buzz, but really just managed a screenplay nomination. We are back, thanks to Netflix ordering two sequels, with Glass Onion, which once again is in the Oscar race, and very likely to again get a screenplay nomination. Knives Out wasn’t one of my favorite films from that year, though i did appreciate it. I can say that I think Glass Onion … Continue reading Glass Onion

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Say Hey Willie Mays

John Stark

Where I Watched it: HBo MAX English Audio Description?: Yes When i started 2022, i didn’t think I would actually be watching two baseball documentaries about legendary players, but that’s how this year shaped up. The first was Facing nolan, and I followed it with this documentary about Barry Bonds. oh, wait. No, this is a Willie Mays documentary. My bad, sorry. So Barry Bonds starts off the documentary talking about his career…. Dammit. I did it again. i just get so confused. It’s like, I see the title, and it says Willow mays, but I keep thinking Barry Bonds. … Continue reading Say Hey Willie Mays

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Strange World

John Stark

Where i Watched It: Disney plus English Audio Description Provided By: Deluxe Narrated By: Nicole Sansorella I basically live in a world where I just consume media, like a critic, whether I care about the film or not. I do draw the line every once in a while, like I have no intention of ever reviewing Terrifier 2, but I try my hardest to walk in with an open mind every time. I gotta say, i walked into Strange World assuming it sucked. It’s not the same way i chose Turning Red earlier this year, where I saw it immediately … Continue reading Strange World

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I Believe In Santa

John Stark

Where I Watched It: Netflix English Audio Description?: Yes OK, so, I’m actually this far behind that my final Christmas film to review I got to two days after Christmas. It’s Ok. This film wasn’t great, and my grade is skewed because I had this weird experience that somehow made it better. Let me explain. First off, the movie does have a cute premise that would work if a real cast wanted to do it. A woman starts dating a man who believes in Santa. Cute. it could be. But, being blind, I have no idea who these people are. … Continue reading I Believe In Santa

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Top Gun Maverick

John Stark

Where I Watched it: Paramount Plus English Audio Description Available?: Yes Legacy sequels are all the rage now. Nostalgia is a business by itself, convincing people to continue to buy into a franchise they once loved, with mixed results. When the world found out that Tom Cruise was moving forward on the long awaited Top Gun sequel, it just felt like more of the same. like it was Jamie lee Curtis returning to Halloween, Neve Campbell returning to Scream, or the Sanderson Sisters casting spells again for hocus Pocus. It’s still a trend that is carrying on into 2023 as … Continue reading Top Gun Maverick

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Descendant

John Stark

Where I Watched it: Netflix English Audio Description Provided by: International Digital center Written By: Liz Gutman Narrated By: Sri Gordon I can’t tell you how many of the over 250 films I’ve seen and reviewed this year I knew next to nothing about. Often, I just get the little blurb that the streamer provides, and that’s probably the most problematic part of this film for me. I felt like it wasn’t what it was supposed to be, but I’m not sure that the filmmakers have any control over that. Descendant was marketed with the hook being about this slave … Continue reading Descendant

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Darby and the Dead

John Stark

Where I Watched it: hulu English Audio Description Provided By: Pixel logic Narrated By: Jackson Colores While I enjoy the fact that I’ve likely seen more films than most print critics, or will have seen, of the 2022 releases, I really do watch some totally useless and forgettable films. The kind of films that don’t get me traffic, either here or on my Youtube. but, there’s a better film in Darby and the Dead, it’s just one that the filmmakers didn’t want to tell. They could have told the story about Darby growing up, and being in a tragic accident … Continue reading Darby and the Dead

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Mr Malcolm’s List

John Stark

Where I Watched It: iTunes English Audio Description Provided By: pixel logic Narrated By: Tanzi Alexander When this was floating around in theatres, I remember someone comparing this to Bridgerton. That’s a bit of a stretch. Bridgerton is much more about the tawdry details than this is, even if it does have some…. Oh. No. they meant Freida Pinto. Casting. They meant unconventional casting, which i suppose is now being solely attributed to Bridgerton? Now whenever we see non-white people in roles they wouldn’t have been offered fifty years ago, it’s the Bridgerton effect. And if it’s a musical, it’s … Continue reading Mr Malcolm’s List

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Night At The museum 4

John Stark

Where I Watched it: Disney Plus English Audio Description?: Yes I’m not really sure what the strategy here is at Disney, to waste money on crappy animated sequels no one wants, but then again…. That’s what Disney is known for. If you remember all those straight to video Disney sequels from back in the day that no one asked for, most of them are not good, and totally unnecessary. Did we need a sequel to Bambi? But I think what makes this the most frustrating thing is that it’s a sequel to a live action franchise. And, yes, since this … Continue reading Night At The museum 4

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Marcel The Shell With Shoes On

John Stark

Where I Watched it: iTunes English Audio Description Provided By: Deluxe Narrated by: laura Post Before you read a review of me gushing over this film, you need to know that i did not understand this Marcel The Shell stuff before. Then, when it got a feature film, I rolled my eyes. I thought it was the equivalent of giving Grumpy Cat his own film. I am pleasantly wrong. What Jenny Slate created with Marcel is almost the purest form of a being, someone who seeks rather simple means of happiness, and for a shell, is about as relatable a … Continue reading Marcel The Shell With Shoes On