Stars: Mark Wahlberg, Nicola Peltz, Jack Reynor, Stanley Tucci, Kelsey Grammer, Sophia Myles, Titus Welliver, TJ Miller, Bingbing Li, Thomas Lennon
Directed By: Michael Bay
By far my least favorite Transformers movie. I’m glad I didn’t see this in theatres. I was much more comfy on my home couch for the ungodly long duration of almost three hours that the film required from me. I don’t know why this Transformers film felt that it needed to be longer than Lincoln, but it is.
And it felt like two different movies too. There was one movie that was about saving Optimus and finding the other autobots, and then another movie about the seed and the introduction of the dinobots. I’m convinced the film could easily be separated into two shorter movies.
Mark Wahlberg is a fine lead for the franchise, and honestly I have no problems with the cast. Just the film, the plot, the length, and how the Transformers are looking more and more silly. There’s a transformer that smokes a cigar now, a samurai transformer that for some reason speaks with an asian-american-immigrant accent, and another one that has some green Matrix trenchcoat. Come on guys. Pretty soon we’ll have Transformers with boobs. If you don’t think someone hasn’t pitched “why are there no female transformers?” to Michael Bay, they probably have.
The dinobots are silly, but technically are canon. This franchise needs a swift redirect, because this is not the direction to head in. There was very little to like about this film, and watching it felt like a serious amount of work.
FINAL GRADE: D