Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2

Starring: Kevin James, Raini Rodriguez, Neal McDonough, Daniella Alonso, David Henrie, Nicholas Tuturro, Ana Gasteyer, DB Woodside
Directed By: Andy Fickman

I struggled to finish this, honestly. It’s the first film of the year, somehow managing to take that title from Aloha. If your idea of good comedy is nonsensical physical comedy, plot devices that neither make sense nor work, and just a film that thinks its audience must be the dumbest people alive, then Paul Blart is for you! Yes, the sequel is worse than the original, but the original wasn’t much better.

The first film established an ending where Kevin James got the girl (played by Jayma Mays). I’m guessing Jayma decided to abandon ship, because her character divorces Paul before the movie even starts. Smart career move Jayma, and this coming from a girl who was a series regular on The Millers. Then we have Paul’s mom getting hit by a truck, for humor purposes? OK… Other awful ideas include trying to convince the audience that Kevin James somehow fit into a suitcase, Kevin James fighting a bird while someone watches and continues to play piano, and Kevin James just being really awkward and unfunny at every chance. Kevin James is not a bad actor, and he’s got a big heart. When used correctly, in something like Here Comes The Boom, not bad.

I get that Kevin James loves physical comedy, but you need a better script dude. Melissa McCarthy gets better scripts, you need to get with her writers. Abandon Adam Sandler’s ship. I don’t give a whole lot of F’s. I can usually find something good, either one performance, or a few jokes. But I never laughed, and no one was that good in the film. This is truly a rare F.


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