Where I Watched It: HBo MAX

English Audio Description Available?: Yes

Description Provided By: Deluxe

i should probably start off by admitting my near lack of knowledge of the Bob’s Burgers universe. It’s not that I’ve never sent the show before. A ballpark guess on exactly how many episodes I’ve seen would be 4. I think, by looking at my list of animated titles i do enjoy a bit more, I like them either highly nostalgic or crude and rude. Bob’s Burgers floats in this weird territory where it seems odd that it gets paired with Family Guy. Then again, most of Animation Domination isn’t Family Guy anymore. Even my new favorite, The Great North, is a lot closer to Bob’s Burgers.

So, what happens to the Belchers when they break out into feature length form? Well, based on the box office results, not much. They obviously have a limited fan base, as this came nowhere near the epic box office returns of The Simpsons Movie. As a film, The bobs burgers Movie features a rather simple plot. The clan needs to save their joint from financial ruin, somehow, meanwhile their rich tenant seems to be getting framed for murdering a carnie. So, the adults head off to try and come up with some way to make money so their stuff doesn’t get repossessed, and the kids go play Scooby Doo and try and solve a murder.

The plot itself is simple enough, sprinkled with dashes of humor even for those who aren’t Burgers fans, that it should work. Unfortunately, some misguided attempt at half-assing this into a musical ends up giving you the Black Death.

The songs are so bad, I’ve sworn off music for a week. I can’t listen to music anymore, because it reminds me too much of the songs in this film. I truly, with all of my heart, and not just to be rude, believe these to be some of the worst songs ever put into a film.I’ve seen some weird 80’s animation, and straight-to-video sequels, and that’s still my solid opinion.

The decision to take voice actors who clearly are not singers, and craft these quasi-patter songs around them that just sound like a bunch of quarter notes in this monotonous rhythm that barely has any range to it (because, these actors can’t sing), was aggressively awful. The songs don’t have any memorable moments or chorus lines, they just exist. And for what? Just to get songs in the movie? I believe there are only three songs anyway, which would barely constitute a musical, so why did they even bother?

This is not South Park: Bigger Longer and uncut, which gave us some truly great songs like Blame Canada. No, this is music that could have been written by a college student anywhere in the country on their laptop. It’s not just uninspired, or dull, it’s aggressively terrible, and it took a film I really had very little problems with, and made me want to set it on fire.

Had there been no music, my grade would be higher, and my one criticism would be to the producers/writers/whomever at Bob’s Burgers in a semi-open letter format. I love H. Jon Benjamin as much as everyone else. I don’t mind that Sterling Archer and Bob Belcher sound the same. Archer even played with that in an episode. But, he has one voice.It’s instantly recognizable, like Gilbert Gottfried. You can’t ask him to ever play another character in the same show. Hearing him playing his daughters love interest was bizarre and disconcerting. His voice, despite what you may think, does not, and will not ever be disguised. If he was on The Masked Singer, I assume everyone would know him immediately.

The Blind Perspective: Thanks to Deluxe, the entirety of the company, since the end credits didn’t list the narrator. I’m not sure who voiced this, but in a world where I’m constantly hearing new narrator voices, she was not my favorite. I think the narration was written fine, but the quality of her voice in comparison to many of the narrators in the business already just isn’t the same. Maybe she’s new, or maybe we just haven’t crossed paths yet. It wasn’t bad, but there are just more narrators out there I would have chosen first.

Final Grade: C+

On A Personal Note: I complain a lot about the lack of audio description on services. This film dropped simultaneously on hulu and HBO MAX. HBO MAX offers audio description, Hulu does not. After contacting Hulu’s customer support, I wasn’t offered any solution or timeline as to whether this title would ever have audio description. That is unacceptable. So once again, in my “Fuck hulu” rant, they failed to provide an audio description track that clearly exists, because I just watched this film with the track on HBo MAX, plus this film had a track in theatres, and has one should you buy it from iTunes. I’ve been assured that the physical DVD release will also have one. So why not Hulu?

Why won’t Hulu, a majority owned Disney streaming service (it is part of the Disney bundle, remember) not offer audio description for something that is actually a Disney (through their 20th Century label) film. Disney owns Bobs Burgers now, and it seems silly for them to be providing accessibility to every service but their own. Don’t they want to be accessible? Why is Hulu seemingly intentionally terrible at acquiring audio description? This is an accessibility issue. I pay the same as a sighted person does for the same service, and I’m starting to believe Hulu needs to offer me a discount, since I’m being treated second class.