Tag: Ron Perlman

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Tarzan (1999): 25th Anniversary (with Tarzan II!)

John Stark

Come stop your crying, it will be an all right. I know you just watched The Acolyte, and you are missing classic Disney, which is a great time to take a look at what Classic Disney looked like. Following my celebration of The Lion King, in all its 30th Anniversary glory, five years later they released Tarzan. It’s one of the divisive movies that not everyone loves, but I do. And if you think just because we hit the sweet spot with TThe Lion King, Inside Out 2, and Tarzan, that I adore everything Disney, this just happens to be … Continue reading Tarzan (1999): 25th Anniversary (with Tarzan II!)

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The Retirement Plan

John Stark

Despite being offered gems in 2023, Nicolas Cage is still saying Yes to anything. No wonder he wants to retire. We are so close to having a Cage renaissance, but he desperately needs an agent who won’t put him in useless shit. The Retirement Plan is that. Useless. It’s a “guy with a particular set of skills” movie, when Cage is introduced as a former heavy who is drawn back in to protect his daughter and granddaughter.I think Cage has already done this Liam Neeson genre before, so I’m not sure why he’s back. And he just protected a child … Continue reading The Retirement Plan

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Transformers: Rise of The Beasts

John Stark

Where I Watched It: Paramount Plus English Audio Description?: Yes I just want my readers to know, I’m really not trying to take the absurdity of your Transformers extension too much in mind in my grading. But, when I hear “Maximals” and “Optimus Primal”, lets just say my boundaries are tested. And I’ve watched a lot of bizarre things on paper. There’s a show where a giant talking shake, a giant box of fries, and a giant wad of meat live together and have silly adventures, and that franchise has led to two films. So, I really don’t want to … Continue reading Transformers: Rise of The Beasts

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Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio

John Stark

Where I Watched It: Netflix English Audio Description Provided By: International Digital center There are still some things that I know are hard to translate to a blind audience, and i have yet to see a way of truly being able to explain why something like stop motion animation is so captivating to someone who has never seen stop motion animation. To them, animation is animation, or the story is the story. Often, a lot of the intricate details that go into these tireless stop motion features end up not being a part of anything we are able to experience, … Continue reading Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio

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Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them

John Stark

Starring: Eddie Redmayne, Colin Farrell, Katherine Waterston, Alison Sudol, Dan Fogler, Ezra Miller, Samantha Morton, Carmen Ejogo, Dan Hedaya, Jon Voight, Ron Perlman, Zoey Kravitz, and Johnny depp. Directed By: David Yates Where I Watched it: HBo MAX English Audio Description Available?: Yes HBO MAX is releasing the third film in this franchise on Memorial Day, so I figured I’d revisit the first and second entries in advance (kind of like how I just plowed through the Star Wars films). I’m not crazy enough to review 10 films before Monday, so I’ll have to do the Harry Potter films at … Continue reading Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them

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Nightmare Alley

John Stark

Starring: Bradley Cooper, Cate Blanchett, Toni Collette, Rooney Mara, Willem Dafoe, Richard Jenkins, David Strathairn, Mary Steenburgen, Ron Perlman, Jim Beaver, Tim Blake Nelson, Holt McCallany, and Clifton Collins Jr. Directed By: Guillermo Del Toro Where I Watched It: Hulu English Audio Description Available: Hulu hates blind people, so no. Of course, I’m sure it exists, it’s just hulu can never be bothered to acquire audio description. The Plot: A charming con artist )Cooper) learns how to manipulate people through learning from carnies, and believes he’s landed the ultimate con, with the help of a psychologist (Blanchett) who may be … Continue reading Nightmare Alley