I watched a solid amount of television today. Quite solid.

8) Swarm (Amazon)

English Audio Description?: Yes

I stuck with this into episode 2, and it’s still not something I’m really enjoying. I mean, it’s certainly getting weird, but weird in a way that I’m not committed. Like, some of the lesser seasons of American Horror Story where I don’t bother to finish the season. Some people seem to really like this, and I really want to with Donald Glover behind it, but it’s just not happening.

Episode Grade: C-

7) American Idol (ABC/Hulu)

English Audio Description?: Yes

Where do I start? First, we certainly weren’t shown all the cuts. So, that’s a fail. Second, I’m getting tired of Katy’s obnoxious obsession with vanquishing music theatre from Emma. Go politely fuck off. There are plenty of Broadway singers who have had great recording careers in the pop music industry without having to rid their voice of vocal training. Ms. Perry may think she’s the Goddess of music, but once there was a woman named Streisand, and she had no problem selling records. Acting proud while shaming an entire genre of music and professional singers is unnecessary. Emma’s voice was beautiful from day one. But, the other day I alluded to a cut I wasn’t happy with, and that’s Trey. I wanted him to annoy the hell out of gun advocates every week by constantly reminding his audience that he’s a survivor of a mass shooting. I’m not really sure why he was cut, and some of the others weren’t. Not everyone who moved on was Gold. Also, Kaya Monae (Willie’s friend) was so unceremoniously cut. We got about five seconds of her performance, which makes me believe the rest of it was too good to put on television, they just had no intention of putting her through. I’m happy for a lot of the really obvious Yes votes. I don’t know what happened to jay (the one who almost quit the competition, but survived the duets). And now we have a top 26.

Episode Grade: C

6) The Masked Singer (FOX/Hulu)

English Audio Description?: No

nick needs to stop creeping on that UFO. But, Ken’s guess on Alicia Witt was a little too on the nose, and a deep cut. While I know who she is, and I’m a fan, her career has definitely taken a very muted turn. She’s someone that most people don’t know her name, so for Ken Jeong to be all up on Alicia’s career like that, and to say her name, made me realize it was who that was. you can’t pull an actress out of somewhat obscurity and try to act like they’re the same as everyone else when they’re not. you need Ken to be able to list off her resume like he’s a huge fan. All those mentions, and not a single Mr Holland’s opus or urban legend mention?

Episode Grade: C+

5) You (Netflix)

English Audio Description?: Yes

While we’re bouncing back a little from the previous week of me tanking the show for it’s shitty twist, Episode 8 spent the whole time explaining how we really got here, and I still think it’s stupid. I liked the creativity in *spoiler* telling the story almost as if it were a bedtime story, but there’s a part of me that really thinks the thing that made this season special is gone.

Episode Grade: B-

4) School Spirits (Paramount Plus)

English Audio Description?: Yes

I am enjoying the mystery, but in episode 3, the fact that the one girl felt like she could run off to an abandoned warehouse like that… girl. you are lucky you’re still alive. I thought she was dead for sure. And then she’d be haunting an abandoned warehouse.

Episode Grade: B+

3) Top Chef (Bravo/Peacock)

English Audio Description?: No

It’s always hard to go home when your a former winner, but to go home for “The Leftovers”? How did she not understand that was not the right dish for Top Chef?

Episode Grade: B+

2) Will Trent (ABC/Hulu)

English Audio Description?: Yes

Seriously, I never thought having a show about a detective who compensates for his inability to read would ever hook me, but this week we kept pushing into the blast from the past rapist, as well as Will taking temporary custody of an adorable little boy who witnessed a crime, and might not have any family. He was really good with kids, and when CPS came in with “we found a good home”, he went off on what a “good home” is, and how little he trusts CPS. Good work.

Episode Grade: A-

1) Schmigadoon (Apple Plus)

English Audio Description?: Yes

I don’t know if this show has officially changed it’s title, so I’m sticking with the original. But, Episode 2 had some great moments for just about every cast member, including the introduction of Topher, who really needed to know this is not about him. Man, his character is a reference to Hair, but that song is clearly a knock off to Corner of The Sky. Also, mad love to coming up with a new version of the opening song from A Chorus Line.

Episode Grade: A