Finally! Some TV news. I don’t know which is bigger. Lando has been elevated from a Disney plus series to a full fledged movie, so you can no longer expect it to come to Disney Plus (until after its theatrical run), and Netflix has picked One Piece up for a second season. The latter is kinda of a big deal considering their past anime adaptations haven’t made it to a second season (RIP Cowboy Bebop). Also, Netflix finds it appropriate to release yet another major international title without accessibility for their blind and visually impaired users so I’m considering doing a livestream of me watching and reviewing a film in a language I don’t speak and can’t read the subtitles. If they can put audio description on the Spanish language Killer book Club, they can start putting audio description on these International titles they keep putting into awards season done by well known filmmakers with a history of getting American actors Oscar nominations.

11) Alias (Disney Plus)

English Audio Description?: No

Status: Ended

This is actually my third time through the series, but first as a blind user. First time in like 17-18 years also. I watched the original run, then bought all the seasons on DVD, and watched those. Now, as a blind viewer, this show is tremendously unwatchable in its current state. There are several action sequences set to music and have no dialogue. It was quite a mess. Even for my third time around, i was confused. My nostalgia rules apply, so I’ll be watching this for a little while at least, but the lack of accessibility here is deeply disappointing.

Episode Grade: Unwatchable

10) Adventure Time (MAX)

English Audio Description?: No

Status: Multiple Spin-offs

I think I might be expecting too much, but I kinda feel like the shortened plots this early in the show aren’t helping it to find the right tone.The gang appears to be in jail held by the Ice King, and their plan is to pretend like being in jail is fun so the Ice King comes in and joins them, they attack him, and escape. It’s actually kinda sad, because when the Ice king thinks someone might genuinely like him, they beat him up and run away. I’m stilll committed to trying to understand this show.

Episode Grade: C

9) All In The Family (FreeVee)

English Audio Description?: No

Status: Ended

Archie is robbed, reports it to the police, but accepts a bribe from another lawyer… and honestly, I was more interested in how this episode began with Mike cooking dinner and Edith not knowing what to do with herself.

Episode Grade: B-

8) Heels (Starz)

English Audio Description?: No

Status: Not Yet Renewed

I won’t lie. This series is almost episode by episode unwatchable. I almost hit the unwatchable button here, as this episode did end with a wrestling match.However, they have announcers like any other sport. So it splits the difference sometimes. And because of that, and the talking, I’m paying attention to where the audio description would come in, and how much we would get. Because of the guys in the booth, it limits the audio description potential in the most consequential part. The rest are just little things, like knowing a character woke up on the floor before they mention it in dialogue. Or, a description of the wrestling convention. It’s still a well-acted show. Chris Bauer is especially a stand out for me.

Episode Grade: B-

7) Futurama (Hulu)

English Audio Description?: No

Status: New Season now airing

The season 2 finale features a What If device. Considering the possibilities, it would have been nice to understand more of each What if scenario. Especially the one where Leela slowly murders everyone.

Episode Grade: B

6) Ugly Betty (Netflix)

English Audio Description?: No

Status: Ended

Another show that is borderline, and could use audio description. There was a cat fight between ladies as Betty was trying to recover something she should not have taken home, and some things are hard to follow like that. Also, I guess the one person we thought was dead in the pilot is not dead? It’s a fun show, that would be better if I could follow the whole thing, and not just parts of it.

Episode Grade: B

5) Special Ops: Lioness (Paramount Plus)

English Audio Description?: Yes

Status: Not Yet Renewed

Oh, Hi Morgan Freeman. Sorry I can’t discuss you, we need to talk about the audio description. The final scene is a mess as it starts interpreting intention, almost like I’m reading a book, it tells me things like how someone stand there stunned trying to figure out what happened, or contemplating the confusion, and a lot of things that aren’t really necessary, but more interpretive. Instead of using all of that, help describe her acting choices, facial expressions, and let the scene define itself. Assume I have an IQ above 50 and can follow a basic scene structure, if guided through with good narration. Sadly, this narration in S1E6 overshot itself.

Episode Grade: B+

4) The Wheel Of Time (Amazon)

English Audio Description?: Yes

Status: Renewed?

I do believe this is renewed. I think Amazon picked this up early because of how long it takes to make a season. The third episode relies on you believing someone is dead, but this show is awful at following through on that. So, I didn’t believe it, and wasn’t disappointed. What I will say, is that these creatures that have appeared in the series before, but have no natural reference in the real world showed up, broke in a door, and started killing people. All I got was the name of their specific brand of monster, when I need to know still what these things look like. You may think its silly, but this has no real world application. Virgin River just reminded me that Mel had strawberry blonde hair in its Season 5 preview. The Wheel Of Time can remind us what a monster looks like.

Episode Grade: A-

3) Only Murders In The Building (Hulu)

English Audio Description?: Yes

Status: Not Yet Renewed

I feel like the show gives Selena Gomez great material, and she keeps getting ignored by the Emmy’s. Meanwhile, someone chose to write that Steve Martin’s Charles would carry a fish out of his apartment and around with him in a little bag. Then they doubled down, thinking he would it that same fish into a toilet tank. Look, I can put up with a lot in terms of comedy, and the Chiplote joke was good, and the Ghost Light references hit me as a theatre person, but why is Charles suddenly an idiot?

Episode Grade: A-

2) Harley Quinn (MAX)

English Audio Description?: Yes

Status: Not Yet Renewed, But It’s Getting A Kite Man Spinoff

I’m depressed that the first spinoff was Kite Man and not Bane. Harley teaches the bat family how to fight without fancy gadgets after Talia takes them away,and Ivy goes to a villain conference on the moon where Lex only wants her to speak for 45 seconds before his speech.

Episode Grade: A

1) What We Do In The Shadows (Hulu)

English Audio Description?: Yes

Status: Not Yet Renewed

Hairy Frogs. Gizmo breaks his ankle, and Nadja takes him to a vampire Doctor who wants to put him down. Meanwhile, Colin is interesting, and can’t drain anyone of their energy. John Slattery guest stars.

Episode Grade: A