Category: Movie Review

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Snow Day (2022)

John Stark

Where I Watched it: Paramount Plus English Audio Description?: Yes The fact that i hve to specify which version of Snow Day this is makes me sad. The fact this film exists, that someone thought Snow Day was iconic enough to remake make me sad. I remember Snow Day, starring a young Mark Webber, and whatever the hell nickelodeon thinks this is… is not that. That film at least tried to pretend adults might be or could be interested, by roping in Chevy Chase, but this one just ignores adults, and really teenagers. on top of that, it tries to … Continue reading Snow Day (2022)

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Nanny

John Stark

Where I Watched It: Amazon English Audio Description provided By: Media Access Group Narrated By: Brianna Lyonne I swear, marketing teams are the worst. I’m sure the director of nanny was super excited to be picked up by Blumhouse, but the fact that this is being marketed as a horror is so unfortunate. it sets people up for a film thinking there are some jump scares waiting, or some gore, or ghosts, or something freaky, and that’s not what this is. This is something totally different. But, to really discuss what that is, to a point, also might ruin the … Continue reading Nanny

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It’s A Wonderful Binge

John Stark

Where I Watched It: hulu English Audio Description Provided By: Pointe 360 Narrated By: Roy Samuelson Many moons ago, Nostradamus predicted that two children of the devil would be born, and unto the world, they would completely miss the boat on how to make parody/spoof films, and thus their reign of terror would result in a series of films that are universally despised. This includes everything from the aptly titled Date movie and Epic Movie to Meet The Spartans and The Hungover Games. If you told me they directed this, i would not be shocked. This film, which shockingly features … Continue reading It’s A Wonderful Binge

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Black Adam

John Stark

Where I Watched It: HBo MAX English Audio Description provided By: Deluxe Narrated By: William Michael Redmond I could use this entire time to just talk about whatever the heck is going on at the DC branch of Warner Bros. Discovery. But, that’s like choosing a graduate thesis at this point, and having to break down how Everytime the company is supposed to turn right, they turn and run away. Truthfully, i wish the best for james Gunn, but I think it will go about as well as it did for Zack Snyder. When everything in the DC Universe resembled … Continue reading Black Adam

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Something From Tiffany’s

John Stark

Where I Watched It: Amazon English Audio Description Provided By: The Media Access Group Narrated By: Sylvia Zamora Not to be outdone by rival streamers, Amazon is very much all about creating its own Christmas romcoms. Honestly, with the way that Hallmark and Lifetime have been doing this for years, these streamers are really going to need to step up their game if they want to beat those two in this business. But, this film also reminds me of movies that actually used to make theatrical runs in this genre, and i wonder if they ever will again. People look … Continue reading Something From Tiffany’s

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Bodies, Bodies, Bodies

John Stark

Where I Watched It: iTunes (VOD) English Audio Description Provided By: Deluxe Narrated By: William michael Redmond I admit that I’m late to a party about a film about a party, but I have gotten to see how divisive this film is, at least among the movies fans with internet connections. It seems to be a love or hate movie, and for various reasons. Some people feel betrayed, some people wanted something else, some people thought it was something else. I never saw a preview for this film, so I’m not really sure what was marketed, and why people felt … Continue reading Bodies, Bodies, Bodies

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Christmas With The Campbells

John Stark

Where i Watched It: AMC Plus English Audio Description?: No What’s the point of me having an AMC Plus subscription if I don’t occasionally review their content with the reminder of how nice it would be to have audio description. I will admit, this is not some revolutionary film with tons of visual work, so a lot of the jokes were easy to follow. Honestly, the concept about being dumped right before Christmas and then still spending the holiday with your ex-boyfriend’s family, because he’s too self involved to care, is a winning concept. It certainly set up Brittany Snow … Continue reading Christmas With The Campbells

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Bullet Train

John Stark

Where I Watched It: Netflix English Audio Description Available?: yes i remember the unknown I had going into Snowpiercer. it was this film that wasn’t billed as a wide release, from a well-respected foreign director, and it felt like i was part of the beginning of something amazing. i still think Snowpiercer is a terrific film, easily one of my favorites, with an absolute bonkers performance from Tilda Swinton. TNT had to go and ruin the concept by spreading it over a TV show which is fine, but very much not the same quality. When I heard Bullet Train announced, … Continue reading Bullet Train

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Ticket To Paradise

John Stark

Where I Watched It: Peacock English Audio Description?: Yes If you’ve been listening or reading Hollywood journalists, you’ve heard murmurs about the death of the star vehicle, or the bankable actor. The idea that a movie is opened by an actor alone, like how people just used to shw up to see films regardless of what they were about, because the film had their favorite star in them. Somehow, we’ve changed that landscape… yet not entirely. Ticket To Paradise is that exact thing that shouldn’t exist anymore. It’s a star vehicle created specifically just to merge the chemistry of George … Continue reading Ticket To Paradise

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Christmas On mistletoe Farm

John Stark

Where I Watched It: Netflix English Audio Description?: Yes It’s entirely possible that British people make better random Christmas movies than we do. There’s nothing really unique or special about this film, but it was oddly charming enough that I liked it. I know that’s not the case for some, but when you watch these random factory farmed Christmas films, you get a mixed bag. It’s amazing how many are released every year. Christmas is really a huge business. This Christmas throwaway features a man who inherits the titular farm, and moves his two small children out to this charming … Continue reading Christmas On mistletoe Farm

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The Banshees Of inusharon

John Stark

Where I Watched it: HBo MAX English Audio Description Provided By: Deluxe Narrated By: Nicole Sansorella Just a few years ago, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, MO was either my favorite film of that year, or runner-up. I distinctly remember that ranking. I think I loved the film more than most, admittedly, but I found it well written, and oddly entertaining considering the subject material. plus, how can you be mad at the film that finally got Sam Rockwell not just an Oscar nomination (his first), but also the win. So overdue. Banshees is likely in a very same position, as … Continue reading The Banshees Of inusharon

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Willow

John Stark

Where I Watched It: Disney Plus English Audio Description Provided By: Deluxe Narrated by: Marsha Bartenelli I meant to watch this a while ago, knowing that the Willow TV series was upon us. But, the season was just so full of films, I got around to it a little late. Yes, I’ve never seen Willow. This was my first viewing of this film. I was five when the film was released theatrically, so it’s not like I was walking up to the box office and buying my own tickets. As far as why not before now, I don’t really know. … Continue reading Willow

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Pearl

John Stark

Where I Watched it: iTunes (VOD) English Audio Description?: Yes After using Ti West’s X as a statement on why Paramount Plus needs to take audio description more seriously, I figured I should actually watch one of his films with audio description, so I sprung for Pearl so I could get audio description. I know A24 distributes to Showtime, and they can’t be bothered by blind people, so even though I subscribe to Showtime, and would have access to this film eventually, i paid for it. That’s my life. Just so I can get an accessibility feature. Pearl is a … Continue reading Pearl

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Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio

John Stark

Where I Watched It: Netflix English Audio Description Provided By: International Digital center There are still some things that I know are hard to translate to a blind audience, and i have yet to see a way of truly being able to explain why something like stop motion animation is so captivating to someone who has never seen stop motion animation. To them, animation is animation, or the story is the story. Often, a lot of the intricate details that go into these tireless stop motion features end up not being a part of anything we are able to experience, … Continue reading Guillermo Del Toro’s Pinocchio

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Emancipation

John Stark

Where I Watched It: Apple Plus English Audio Description Provided By: Pixel Logic Narrated By: Tanzi Alexander My review of Emancipation has no bearing in what occurred at last year’s Oscars. I am completely able to compartmentalize and not let things that do not have anything to do with this film, and the hundreds of people who worked on it, affect my enjoyment or lack thereof. Will Smith does not set the release dates for his films, nor does he choose whether or not to launch Oscar campaigns. If you find Will Smith to be too problematic to watch this … Continue reading Emancipation