Splash

Where I watched It: Disney Plus English Audio Description Provided By: Deluxe Narrated By: Laura Post The last time Splash was made relevant to me was when film nerds who caught the opening of Disney Plus looked at all the offerings and said “Splash. That will be my first watch.” And then they noticed that Disney blurred out the nudity, and there was some minor internet outrage. I’m anti-censorship, but I’m also anti-watching a movie for the nudity. So, if you pervs cued up Splash only to see Daryl Hannah’s brief nudity, that’s what Pornhub is for. Not an actual … Continue reading Splash

The Contractor

Where I Watched It: Look, the film is on Showtime, and I have a subscription. Did I have to “find” the audio description elsewhere? Sure. But, I technically have access to this film through my paid subscription to Showtime. English Audio Description Available?: Again, if you can find it. Description Provided By: Pixel Logic Narrated By: Laura Post What really is there to say about The Contractor? Not much. It’s a pretty generic paint-by-numbers action film that worked well for what it set out to achieve. Considering there are generations of people still watching films in the Sniper universe (a … Continue reading The Contractor

Beauty

Where I Watched It: Netflix Audio Description Provided By: Post haste Written By: William McDonaugh Narrated By: Laura Post We’ve seen so many stories about aspiring singers over the years, it’s become kind of impossible to do anything different. Yet, Lena Waithe tried to inject something different into this exhausting formula, but she just misses the mark. Really, everyone does. The film centers around a young girl who lives at home with her parents, learning how to sing from her mom (a pretty solid Niecy Nash), and elevating her career much to the delight of her typically evil, overbearing, and … Continue reading Beauty

Father Of The Bride (2022)

Starring: Andy Garcia, Gloria Estefan, Adrea Arjonea, Diego Boneta, Isabela Merced, Marta Velasco, Ruben Rubaso, Ana Fabriga, Chloe Feinman, Pedro Damian, Enrique Merciano, and Laura Harring. Directed By: Gary Lazurki Where I Watched It: HBo MAX English Audio Description Available?: Yes Description Provided By: Deluxe Narrated By: Laura Post, featuring addition narration from Jedidiah Barton, William Michael Redman, and and Jennifer James. The Plot: George Banks is no more. Now, our titular father is Billy Herrara (Garcia), and if you’ve ever seen Father of the Bride, you can jsut toss that useless knowledge right out the damn window. This remake … Continue reading Father Of The Bride (2022)

Hollywood Stargirl

Starring: Grace Vander Waal, Elijah Richardson, Judy Greer, Uman Thurman, Judd Hirsch, Tyrell Jackson Williams, and A Madrigal. Directed By: Julia Hart Wher i Watched it: Disney plus English Audio Description Available?: Yes Description Provided By: Deluxe Narrated By: Laura Post The Plot: In a sequel where youn do not need to see the original, Stargirl (Vander Wall) is tired of constantly moving from place to place, but her mother (Greer) promises this will be the last move as she sets up shop in Hollywood and prepares to be a costume designer for a film. Meanwhile, Stargirl starts hanging out … Continue reading Hollywood Stargirl

Star girl

Starring: Grace Vander Waal, Graham Vercher, Giancarlo Esposito, and Darby Stanchfield. Directed By: Julia HArt Where I Watched it: Disney Plus English Audio Description Available?: Yes Description Provided By: Deluxe Description Narrated By: Laura Post The Plot: A boy (Vercher) narrates a story about this one time he had a free spirit named Stargirl (Vander Waal) that briefly attended his school. Love happens. What Works: It’s not terrible, but it feels like one of those teen movies we’re now getting because they are based on YA novels. So after you’ve stopped off at the kissing booth to tell all the … Continue reading Star girl

Cyrano

Starring: Peter Dinklage, Haley Bennett, Kelvin Harrison Jr, and Ben Mendelssohn. Directed By: Joe Wright Where I Watched it: VOD English Audio Description Available?: Yes Description Provided By: Deluxe Narrated By: Laura Post The Plot: A cinematic adaptation of the stage musical adaptation of the classic Cyrano de Bergerac story. So, it’s adaptception. An adaptation within an adaptation. In this version, Cyrano (Dinklage) is brilliant, but born considerably shorter than those around him, who make a mockery of him, despite how eloquent he is, and how terrific he is with a sword in combat. He also pines for his childhood … Continue reading Cyrano