Just wait till we get to the bottom of this list. you just wait.

1) She Hulk (Disney Plus)

English Audio Description?: Yes

I do not care where she puts the Y in her name, but Polly Guggenheim is welcome back on this show, or any show, or any MCU movie ever in my opinion. If it were me, I’d be signing her to a massive contract right now, so she can just appear as needed, whenever we need a good laugh. Hilarious work, and in an episode where Marvel was obviously screwing with us with Donny Blaze, by making Ghost Rider fans do a double take before checking their ears and realizing it was Donny. As if that character didn’t suck enough. The fact that someone ever bothered to train him at all is silly. But this episode was quite silly, and She Hulk is obviously a comedy.

Episode Grade: A

2) What We Do in The Shadows (FX)

English Audio Description?: No

Despite Hulu’s angering resistance to provide any continuity in audio description, I can’t ignore that this episode featured vampires that were trying to get Colin into school, were being interviewed by a headmaster, and started talking about sucking, rimming, and fucking. The cherry on top was that they reset his brain so many times he died. Honestly, if this episode had audio description, I would have put it on top. But luckily, She-Hulk had the equally entertaining Madysen (or wherever she puts her Y).

Episode Grade: A (but get your shit together and get audio description)

3) Fairfax (Amazon)

English Audio Description?: Yes

In the epic season finale, the fate of the gang gang was up in the air, as the two most popular designers made their fiercest drops in an effort to survive. I don’t really know who asked for this show, or why it exists, but it always exceeds my expectation. A show featuring kids doing kid things, that’s still hilarious. Thank God for this, and I no longer have to feel gross while watching Big Mouth.

Episode Grade: A, Season 2 Grade: A

4) Surface (Apple Plus)

English Audio Description?: Yes

I get that there are intentionally frustrating parts of this series that revolve around an individuals autonomy, as our lead character has no access to her own financials, which makes it difficult for her to flee. But by the end of episode 2, we’re already at horror movie vibes where I feel like yelling at her like she’s being chased by a killer and keeps making all the wrong choices. Hopefully, she can start to figure out some exit plans fast, because this girl is not safe.

Episode Grade: B+

5) Keep Breathing (Netflix)

English Audio Description?: Yes

So, I kinda gave the first episode a pass, because in terms of the format, there wasn’t much else to do except just skip any story building and the plane crash. Obviously, that had to be the bulk of the pilot, and we then would get the survival part. however, in Episode 2, it becomes clear to me that not much will happen. There’s a mystery here, for sure, as she uncovers drugs and money, neither of which will get her home. Really, Episode 2 is still super concerned with world building, with several flashbacks, and not a lot happening in the current timeline. It’s a bit of a surprising choice to make, considering this is a limited series, and each episode is only about 30 minutes. You don’t ahve a lot of time to waste on backstory, and hoping your audiences, who showed up for a survival story, will stay for whatever else this show is trying to be, is a bit of a stretch. I’m going to keep it going for now, but something needs to happen in the third episode. Also, how can she possibly sleep on the beach knowing a bear was just there? Oh, and thanks to the audio description team for letting me know that the bear took a shit. That felt super relevant to the plot of the story. I’m glad we figured out a way to throw that in.

Episode Grade: B-

6) The Resort (Peacock)

English Audio Description?: Yes

As I said, I was more interested in the characters at the now destroyed hotel than William Jackson Harper (who did rebound this week from being unlikable) and Cristin Milotti. The plot kind of took off in a dead sprint with the mystery almost immediately taking a dangerous turn in Episode 2. Not that it’s a problem, but this show had kind of already tonally established itself, then it felt like it was going in for a rewrite. Plus, we spent less time in the flashbacks with the guests, as our present day couple searched for a dangerous yellow snake. For me, this took a step back from the pilot episode.

Episode Grade: B-

7) Partner Track (Netflix)

English Audio Description?: Yes

But then… I tried this… whatever this is. i guess this is one of those fun and flirty shows like someone watched Ally McBeal and realized that the current landscape has no Ally McBeal, but instead of teaming up with David E Kelly, or any or the writers of that quirky legal comedy, they instead found fired writers from other Netflix shows like Sweet Magnolias and Virgin River, and used them to cobble together a legal drama that is only dramatic in the way the real housewives are dramatic, and legal in the way that their technical professions claim to be lawyers. It’s not played as a straight up comedy, but perhaps would ahve worked better as a female centric Sex and the City/Darren Star inspired dramady but in it’s current form, it just falls flat all over the place, with every character being a dull version of a stereotypical character we’ve seen before, just mixed with lackluster writing, and a desire to remove the legal element as much as possible. You might think Partner Track was something along the lines of other solid legal comedies like Boston Legal, which deftly and smartly navigated a host of issues, all while being relatively hilarious, and featuring plenty of sexual content. Here, while female led, the series benefits nothing from taking that perspective, and instead just becomes a show you wonder how it made it from script to pilot, let alone a series order. Despite all of this, the undying popularity of these relatively unoffensive, somewhat sexy, bland hallmark knockoffs do rather well on Netflix, so it’s likely PArtner Track will be around for a long time to come. I, however, will not be on the same track.

Episode Grade: D