I was inordinately busy yesterday, so this is one of those shorter Small Screen Diaries kind of days. But I did kick things off by complaining to Crunchyroll about how, despite the latest patch, the iOS version of the app still oddly blocks people from being able to hear specifically English audio description. If you have English audio description set as your primary language, you hear nothing. So, for shows that don’t have audio description, you can still watch them, but if something wants to default to English audio description, there’s just nothing there. I’d already reported this bug once, so now I get to publicly acknowledge that this exists and Crunchyroll has not fixed it. Get on the ball, Sony. Aside from complaining about Crunchyroll, I did actually watch a few shows, but again, I was busy. Usually I roll through these in the order I watched them, believe it or not, but I think I might start rolling through them in the order I would actually recommend people check them out. You guys likely come here looking for some sort of recommendation, and even though these are cursory blurbs about shows, you probably want to know what’s worth your time more than something else. So, as Darkwing Duck would say, let’s get dangerous.

At the top of the list would absolutely be Furious, which I’m on Season 1, Episode 3 of, and which is on Disney+ with audio description that has no credits. I listened all the way to the end. Disney is doing this new thing where they don’t want anybody to know who made the audio description unless they do, in which case it sometimes reveals that no humans were involved in making the product. I think Furious has human audio description, and it seems to be pretty solid given the occasionally graphic nature of the show, although for people looking for utter brutal violence, it’s not quite that. Nobody is going around chopping up bodies because the main character here, Catherine, played wonderfully by Lola Petticrew, is supposed to be somewhat sympathetic. Contrasting her on the other side is a host of various police officers and investigators, and it’s one of those shows that makes you wonder who the lead really is and who you’re supposed to be rooting for, a little bit like Killing Eve. But Catherine’s story is so unique and her backstory is so tragic that one could argue she’s the hero of the story and the revenge she’s enacting is justified, which makes this an interesting morality tale. I don’t want to spoil anything specifically about what happens, but that’s the gist of it, and I would highly recommend Furious based on what I’ve seen so far.

After that, I’d have to follow up with Dark Matter, which I started Season 2, Episode 1 of on Apple TV+ with audio description, because it is just a really interesting show with a lot of thoughts about alternate realities, different versions of ourselves, doppelgängers, and how all of that intersects through its various twists and turns. It also has pretty decent audio description from Pixelogic, given the fact that it often has to discuss which world we’re in and which version of a character we’re talking to, which must be a pain in the ass to keep track of. I wonder if Apple sends over some sort of helpful guide so the audio description writer can actually follow which version of a character they’re dealing with at any given moment, because in Joel Edgerton’s case there are many versions of Jason that have been introduced, and he’s the lead. But even with the supporting cast, there are alternate versions of characters floating around. It’s the kind of show where the audio description team has to keep a corkboard and some red string handy.

Coming in third for me, even though it doesn’t have audio description, would have to be Have I Got News for You, which was hilarious and had the return of Dave Foley to the panel. There were some very funny moments, but it is exactly what you think it is. If you’re watching it on HBO Max, you know what I’m talking about. This series appeals to who it appeals to, and very much would not appeal to anybody who thinks everything is going great.

Then I would toss Line of Fire, Season 1, Episode 2, which I watched on Peacock with audio description, into the mix. I thought this was another strong episode, even though I’m not sure Claire has earned the kind of justified self-righteousness she believes she has as a character. She completely ignores the fact that her mom likely has far more years of experience than she does and just boldly walks into situations, which does not work out in her favor. Aside from that, Line of Fire is shaping up to be at least somewhat interesting, even if the second episode cannot hold a candle to the major twist revealed in the first episode. They’re obviously trying to stretch that out over the course of the first season instead of giving you a major reveal every single episode. Instead, they use this episode to make Claire seem kind of weak, and I guess that’s fine. The audio description here was okay.

Down at the bottom would be The Gentlemen, Season 2, Episode 2. Not because it’s bad, just because it ranked number five out of five shows, and that’s how that cookie crumbled. It’s on Netflix with audio description, and it can get a little cluttered at times. Sometimes it gets lost in the weeds in terms of advancing its plot forward, almost like it’s circling back around the same idea or being interrupted by something else that doesn’t really feel like part of the story. I’m sure it all works out in the end, but right now it feels a little like the show lacks focus, which is why it ended up at the bottom. It probably could use a bit more focus given the fact that the ratings fluctuated in Season 2, and Netflix may not stick with The Gentlemen forever if the numbers don’t improve. Then again, Netflix still hasn’t quite figured out how to fast-track seasons, and the rapid return of a series seems to matter more and more to audiences. They’re probably trying to figure out how to get more series back quicker rather than renewing struggling shows that would take forever to return. How quickly Theo James is willing to jump into another season of The Gentlemen would likely help determine its future at this point.

Now the question is: who had the best and worst audio description? Because those were just my rankings based on the quality of the shows themselves. Based purely on audio description, the winner would be Dark Matter, and the loser would be Have I Got News for You because it has no audio description. I understand why it doesn’t, because of the turnaround time and the fact that very few shows get audio description uploaded to streaming services as quickly as this one would need it. But even with that, I’m aware that Have I Got News for You never gains audio description. Whereas with Last Week Tonight, I’m just impatient. If I wait a while, I eventually get audio description. So the complete lack of audio description for a show that actually has a lot of visual references within its format makes Have I Got News for You a solid loser for the day, not just a convenient scapegoat.