Kicking off the Small Screen Diaries, which I think should probably start coming with a spoiler warning. Generally, I’m pretty far behind on some shows, so I’m not always worried about spoilers because I’m reviewing things after they’ve already happened. But I have no idea how far behind you are, and that’s not really fair. So, consider yourself warned. There may be spoilers ahead, and today there’s certainly a lot to talk about.

In first place is Dark Matter, Season 2, Episode 5, on Apple TV with audio description. What a wonderful episode, and also an excellent example of audio description. The series takes a moment to focus on a side story involving Jason 18, showing us what he’s been up to. He enters another world where a version of his mother lost her Jason when he was just 16 years old. When he reunites with her, she understandably sees it as some sort of miracle, an impossibility that has somehow become reality. She’s deaf, and Jason communicates with her through American Sign Language, which means the audio description has quite a bit of heavy lifting to do, since much of the dialogue is signed. But we also get to see this lovely woman, who has spent much of her life alone after losing her husband and son, suddenly find herself surrounded by Jasons. Two more castaways end up in the same world, and Jason 18 takes them in, giving his mother an entire family of Jasons to care for. It’s a beautiful concept that eventually leads to a rather sad and tragic conclusion. The episode also explores the possibility that Jason might eventually allow himself to find someone other than Daniela. Just as he’s beginning to accept that this new world might be one where he doesn’t get to be with her, and after moving in with a new girlfriend, he runs into Daniela. Really great stuff. This is probably the best episode of Dark Matter we’ve had in terms of how it uses the format, the story, and the characters. Everything else has been designed to advance the larger plot and push the boundaries of science fiction, but Dark Matter took a moment to tell a genuinely emotional story, and I really appreciated that.

Coming in second place is Chad Powers, Season 2, Episode 1, on Disney+ with Hulu, with audio description. I love this show, and I finally got around to starting its second season. I’m sure it’ll get picked up for a third. They only want to do three seasons anyway, and Glen Powell is becoming a bigger star by the minute. It’s another six-episode season, and while Disney hasn’t officially announced a third season yet, it feels like a pretty easy ask. Powell is absolutely hilarious, and the show basically picks up where it left off, with Chad having taken a tackle that knocks his prosthetic nose off. Now he has to figure out how to get the thing back on without exposing himself. It’s exactly the kind of ridiculous situation this show thrives on, and Powell commits to every second of it. I love the show, I love the cast, and I still wish Powell had been recognized with an Emmy nomination for his work here. He’s doing some terrific comedic acting, and it’s a shame that performances like this don’t always get the recognition they deserve.

In third place is the Matthew Perry documentary series on Netflix, with audio description by VSI, narrated by Xanthe Page. This is the third and final episode, and while there are things I don’t appreciate about the series, I do think it ends on a fairly powerful note. One of my biggest problems is the almost complete absence of anyone Matthew Perry actually worked with in Hollywood. Kevin Pollak is essentially the lone example of another actor willing to participate, and the fact that none of Perry’s major costars from anything show up here is just bizarre. However, this final episode focuses heavily on the toll addiction takes on a person, particularly when someone is essentially unable to fully rehabilitate themselves and is surrounded by people willing to take advantage of them. If you didn’t realize how bad things got for Perry, or you never read his memoir, this episode provides a pretty devastating look at how close he came to losing everything and what his life was really like. It’s heavy stuff, and I appreciated the honesty. But the docuseries itself was just okay. I’ve seen people online bringing up projects and moments from Perry’s career that the series completely ignores, and I understand their frustration. The documentary almost makes it seem as though Perry was some struggling unknown before Friends, when he was actually a little less struggling than they’re willing to admit. He had bounced around several television shows and pilots before finally landing one that stuck. It’s not like nobody knew who Matthew Perry was. He just wasn’t a superstar yet. Then the series skips over other projects, including Three to Tango, and leaves you wondering what else might have been worth exploring. Ultimately, I wanted more from this documentary, but at least the final episode offered some uncomfortable honesty about addiction and the people who exploited him.

In fourth place is American Hostage, Season 1, Episode 5, on MGM+, with audio description by Descriptive Video Works. This series seems to be making a pretty compelling argument for Emmy nominations for both Jon Hamm and Giovanni Ribisi, and I can’t imagine either of them being completely left out of the conversation. The only concern is how they’re submitted. If both end up competing in the lead actor category, they could potentially split support, which is something I wondered about with Black Rabbit and the absence of both Jason Bateman and Jude Law from the nominations. Hopefully, Hamm gets submitted in lead and Ribisi in supporting, giving both of them a better opportunity to be recognized. Ribisi’s character essentially stages a trial inside his apartment, putting his hostage on the stand and taking him to task for all the wrongs he believes have been committed against him over the years. It’s an elaborate airing of grievances, and the performances are exceptional. The tension is largely generated by the actors themselves, and both Hamm and Ribisi are doing some of the strongest work of their careers.

In fifth place is Avatar: Seven Havens, Season 1, Episode 3, on Paramount+, with audio description by International Digital Center. This is a fine series, and this episode continues exploring how these two girls are going to learn to master their abilities and understand what it means to carry the legacy of the Avatar. The third episode introduces the idea that there’s a secret society of people who have been waiting for the next Avatar to appear so they can prepare them for what’s coming. Unlike much of the world, these people don’t believe that the Avatar is inherently evil. It’s an interesting development that gives the story another direction to explore, and while I’m not completely blown away by the series yet, I’m interested enough to keep watching.

In sixth place is Have I Got News for You on HBO Max, without audio description. This is one of those utilitarian rankings that tends to float around depending on what else I’ve watched. It can rank pretty high, or it can end up near the bottom. The show itself is essentially the same every week, so when it finishes below something, that usually means the other show had a particularly good episode, and when it finishes above something, well, perhaps that show didn’t. This feels like a reasonable place for it this week. David Alan Grier made for a pretty good guest, and I enjoyed his contributions. I do wonder, with the whole Skydance situation and the changes happening around Paramount and its various properties, how much longer a show like this will survive. We’ll see. For now, it’s still here, doing what it does every week.

In seventh place is Black Torch, Season 1, Episode 7, on Crunchyroll, with audio description by Global 3, written by Mobina Babu. This is a pretty violent show, and I’m getting to the point where I can’t even adequately describe what it’s about anymore because it has deviated so dramatically from its original premise. We started with this kid who could communicate with animals, which was an interesting concept, and now we’ve introduced all these other characters, he’s involved with this organization, and there’s an elaborate backstory involving the Mononoke. It’s become something completely different from what it was in the pilot. It would be like watching the first episode of Bridgerton, falling asleep, and waking up to discover that the show is somehow now set in space. You would have questions. I feel like Black Torch has rapidly altered its original concept in just seven episodes, to the point where it now feels like fairly generic anime. Perhaps it would have benefited from slowing down a little and allowing its original concept to develop before introducing so many additional elements. I’m starting to think it’s going to be very difficult for anything to top Witch Hat Atelier, which is what brought me into Crunchyroll in the first place. That series set a pretty high bar, and Black Torch isn’t quite reaching it.

At the bottom, in eighth place, is The Paper, Season 2, Episode 7, with audio description by Iyuno, narrated by Dave Wallace. All I have to say is, listen, girl, why are you still with this man? Why are you still with him? He an idiot. Please leave him. When this episode started with these two still together, for some inexplicable reason, I literally could not. My brain just shut down. I was like, wait, we’re not even going to show these two having some sort of problem after what happened? She’s now being shipped off somewhere else to work because they can’t work in the same building, all because he opened his mouth. So he’s the one who gets to stay, and she’s the one who has to leave, even though he’s the superior and she’s the subordinate? Oh my God. This entire situation is a clusterfuck that I simply cannot embrace. If this storyline ultimately killed The Paper and there was no third season, I wouldn’t be surprised. This is one of the most asinine storylines I’ve seen a comedy attempt in quite some time. I realize The Office had the luxury of 20-plus-episode seasons, which meant it could allow a couple like Jim and Pam to have a disagreement, spend some time apart, and eventually find their way back to each other. But damn, these two did not need to be together in the very next fucking episode. I don’t care how many episodes you have. They needed an episode apart. They needed to marinate on what happened, have some actual thoughts about it, and not immediately go back to trying to give each other kisses before work, even as one of them is being sent in the complete opposite direction because of the other’s stupidity. The whole thing is ridiculous. While I love Dave Wallace and his narration, I’m beginning to fear that I may not like The Paper much longer.

As far as audio description goes, Dark Matter wins today, and it’s not particularly close. There was plenty of good audio description across these shows, but Dark Matter had an enormous amount of work to do, between the multiple versions of Jason, the emotional subtleties of the episode, and the extensive use of American Sign Language. It would have been very easy for an episode like this to become confusing or inaccessible, but the audio description rose to the occasion beautifully. At the bottom, I don’t actually think any of the audio description tracks were bad. Even Black Torch is written exceptionally well, but I’ve reached a point where I’m questioning whether some of the narration being produced by Global 3 for Crunchyroll is synthetic. Ever since I started watching Exiled Heavy Knight, I’ve found myself questioning tracks that I might not have questioned before. That doesn’t mean Black Torch is using synthetic narration, and I don’t want to penalize it simply because I have suspicions that may be completely unfounded. Mobina Babu is one of the best writers working in audio description, and she brings so much richness and depth to anime that sometimes seems almost intentionally difficult to follow. So rather than unfairly placing Black Torch at the bottom based on something I can’t verify, I’m going to put the one show that didn’t have audio description there instead. Have I Got News for You takes the bottom spot, Dark Matter takes the top, and we’ll call it a day.