Seven shows, two movies. a solid day. I’m using this Christmas break productively, obviously.

7) Tell Me Lies (Hulu)

English Audio Description?: Yes

It looks like lucy has had just enough oh of being a booty call, just like I’ve had enough of this series taking forever to get back to the initial mystery of the pilot. I’ve spent far too long watching college kids fucking at this point, in a pointless show. When i hear audio description about a guy, who is already in a standing position, removing his condom… I wonder… how was that shot? Did we see full penis with a condom on it, and he peeled it off, or was it suggestive? Nowadays, it’s entirely possible either happened.

Final Grade: C

6) Devil In Ohio (Netflix)

English Audio Description?: Yes

We were building, that whole time, to this final episode? Like, most of the episode takes place after the fact. The climax of the episode easily happens in the first act, which means the whole final 2/3rds is just “picking up the pieces”, which is usually just done with title cards at the end, explaining how these people went on to live their lives, because it’s usually not interesting enough to film, and deflates from the final gut punch. That’s what happened here, as the impact of the big moment at the top, slowly was watered down. Well, that show is behind me now.

Episode Grade: B-, Series Grade: B

5) The Watcher (Netflix)

English Audio Description?: Yes

So, I will preface this by saying that I did do a little research finally to see how accurate this show is, and how much liberties are being taken. I could find a blow-by-blow, but let’s just say, Ryan Murphy did make some shit up. That being said, this fourth episode, defies logic. So, there’s footage of a young girl getting into bed with a sleeping Cannavale. But no one thought, man… this is the most damning footage they have from a camera in the bedroom? I mean, if you’re going to try and present someone as doing something truly awful, wouldn’t you show them being involved? Are the characters in this show actually that stupid, or does Ryan Murphy expect us all to be? The fact that Dakota had all that access, and all he got was this one time some weird girl crawled into bed with someone already sleeping… and he has access to ALL the cameras, and his first thought is… this guy is cheating on his wife and must be the watcher. What? And also, if that was my daughter, I would have put her up for foster care the next day. What an awful child. I hope she’s in jail somewhere, for something. I’m supposed to be focused on the Watcher, the creepy qualities of the series, the people returning front he dead, and I can’t stop running into terrible and stupid characters. Also, we still aren’t giving Naomi Watts anything to do that is worthy of having cast Naomi Watts.

Episode Grade: B-

4) 4) Saturday Night Live (NBC/Peacock)

English Audio Description?: No

Austin Butler is not inherently a funny person, but they wrote some funny sketches around him, which makes up for it.I enjoyed the It’s A Wonderful Life spoof, the plastic shirt sketch, and Kenan trying really really hard to not cry during that Radio Shack send off to Cecily Strong.

Final Grade: B+

3) Ghosts (CBS/Paramount Plus)

English Audio Description?: Yes

From the bottom to third. That’s what happens when I watch Ghosts on a less competitive day. Plus, since the Thor possession happened right at the end of Part 1, it was far more entertaining to watch it play out, like I assumed it would be. This episode certainly lent itself to some good holiday fun. I noticed they even repeated it on CBS the same day i pulled it off Paramount Plus. They really wanted people to get this Christmas magic.

Episode Grade: A-

2) Tulsa King (Paramount Plus)

English Audio description?: Yes

I should have expected it, but I did kind of uncomfortably groan when Stallone started ranting about pronouns. Aside from that brief moment, I’m really enjoying this series, as it continues to move forward. I’m interested in how he will obviously learn to run Tulsa. The audio description to the program is still baffling me. I don’t know if it’s the recording equipment, sound mixing, quality check, or if it was an uploading issue on Paramount Plus’s end, but this has some of the worst sounding audio description I’ve ever heard. it actually sounds like some guy was hired to do it from his home laptop, with really basic equipment. I don’t mind the narrators voice, I’m talking about the quality of the recording itself. It’s not good.

Episode Grade: A

1) Reboot (Hulu)

English Audio Description?: Yes

This show balanced all three of its stories rather well. Bri was in the writers room, creating her own problems, while Hannah was dealing with the “Michael jordan” of being awful at re-recording his own dialogue. Meanwhile, a really unfair basketball game was taking place to hilarious results. Reboot is like the new Only Murders for hulu, and feels like their next big thing. Hopefully everyone is watching this, as it takes off.

Episode Grade: A